HEY!! Just wanted to say THANK YOU TO:
iloay
Koibito
Julianne Tillis
Kimberly Pruitt
JK
Sophie
It's cool to know somebody is reading these! lol Not just sending them out in to the abyss:) I appreciate that you took the time to check out my rants.
XOXO
Sophia
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
My Former Backstabbing Best Friend
Have you ever had a friend that made you feel so good when they were around that they became like a drug? This friend was always there when you needed them… you could spill your deepest darkest secrets to them and they’d never tell a soul… or so you thought… Well I’ve had a friend like that. This so called friend made me feel like nothing else mattered at that moment except instant gratification. I was over come by it’s temptation and pseudo security… I gave in to it every time. Over the years this friend has been a bad influence on my relationships and my health. I loved it, but I hated it all at the same time. Every one of you reading this has met my friend… Hello, I am Sophia Ayala Gettys and my backstabbing best friend, my drug is food.
Food, how many things I’ve learned about this absolutely beautiful thing. This giver of life, pleasure, art and passion. I have struggled with my weight and I’ve always looked for reasons why food has always made me feel so good during a time when I need to be cuddled and protected… and after lots of soul searching I think I know why. I had always seen my family gathered and happy during a meal… holidays were excuses for treats and extraordinary dishes… dates and valentines included food… food has always equaled love. So I looked at food as my friend… food let me know that I was safe, that I wasn’t alone, that people loved me, that happiness existed, food brought me peace.
In college I remember a lonely night in my dorm room… I ate so much food I cleared my cabinet. I ate everything, but I still felt empty. Later as a newlywed I turned to food as a coping tool during a fragile marriage and then again after a losing a pregnancy. I began growing this shield of flesh around my body… and it helped to guard me from having to deal with my problems. I didn’t see the obvious change in my size, because I ignored it. I just didn’t care. It wasn’t until I had my children that I started to realize how important my relationship with food was for them.
As a Mother we are the ones teaching our children how to cope with life and stress. If I continued to share with my children my relationship, they may have followed in my footsteps. Fortunately for me, I had the extraordinary opportunity to learn about food with some of the best chefs in the US. Their passion has helped me to see my old friend in a new light! I have found that it’s not the food that was my problem… it was my relationship with it… and just like any relationship it can be fixed, all we have to do is take that first step in learning. Can I ask you this? When is the last time you sat and made a home-made from scratch meal? When is the last time you sat down and knew exactly what you were putting in to your mouth? Slaving over the stove for most seems a thing of the past… and even sometimes anti-progressive… but people I can’t tell you how fulfilling it is!
When I sit down to a meal that I have created, I feel like a Van Gogh. I am an artist and I have created a masterpiece to share with my family or friends… I have put my heart and soul in to a meal. When I cook now, I can’t enjoy a meal when I am the hostess… because all I can do is look in to the faces of the people taking their first bite and hanging on to that expression as they savor each bite! It’s the ultimate bliss to know that you have made a person “feel full”. It’s like finding a cure for sadness and spraying sunshine and rainbows in to a room.
Before I learned about food, I had only stuffed my face with things that I thought tasted good. Now, I look for things that make my heart happy… literally! I think about how these dishes will effect my children’s outlook on food in the future. I don’t abuse our renewed relationship, or take advantage, I appreciate it. When I need a hug, I go out and get one… when I need to de-stress I go for a run. It’s about redirecting the mind! I still grab a burger here and there, but it’s not to induce self love, it’s all about the pleasure of enjoying an amazing tasting dish! And you know what… I usually enjoy it so much I don’t finish it! Stop, smell, taste, appreciate and experience:)
PS- I’d like to send a shout out to the wonderful people at Schreiber Foods, maker’s of Weight Watcher’s new low fat spreadable cheeses! I received a shipment of samples and am honored to help dispel the rumors that low-fat cheese is an oxymoron! So far my faves are the Jalapeno and Garlic Herb! I’m working on some easy and tasty recipes to share for next week, so make sure to tune in… or log in! HA!
Food, how many things I’ve learned about this absolutely beautiful thing. This giver of life, pleasure, art and passion. I have struggled with my weight and I’ve always looked for reasons why food has always made me feel so good during a time when I need to be cuddled and protected… and after lots of soul searching I think I know why. I had always seen my family gathered and happy during a meal… holidays were excuses for treats and extraordinary dishes… dates and valentines included food… food has always equaled love. So I looked at food as my friend… food let me know that I was safe, that I wasn’t alone, that people loved me, that happiness existed, food brought me peace.
In college I remember a lonely night in my dorm room… I ate so much food I cleared my cabinet. I ate everything, but I still felt empty. Later as a newlywed I turned to food as a coping tool during a fragile marriage and then again after a losing a pregnancy. I began growing this shield of flesh around my body… and it helped to guard me from having to deal with my problems. I didn’t see the obvious change in my size, because I ignored it. I just didn’t care. It wasn’t until I had my children that I started to realize how important my relationship with food was for them.
As a Mother we are the ones teaching our children how to cope with life and stress. If I continued to share with my children my relationship, they may have followed in my footsteps. Fortunately for me, I had the extraordinary opportunity to learn about food with some of the best chefs in the US. Their passion has helped me to see my old friend in a new light! I have found that it’s not the food that was my problem… it was my relationship with it… and just like any relationship it can be fixed, all we have to do is take that first step in learning. Can I ask you this? When is the last time you sat and made a home-made from scratch meal? When is the last time you sat down and knew exactly what you were putting in to your mouth? Slaving over the stove for most seems a thing of the past… and even sometimes anti-progressive… but people I can’t tell you how fulfilling it is!
When I sit down to a meal that I have created, I feel like a Van Gogh. I am an artist and I have created a masterpiece to share with my family or friends… I have put my heart and soul in to a meal. When I cook now, I can’t enjoy a meal when I am the hostess… because all I can do is look in to the faces of the people taking their first bite and hanging on to that expression as they savor each bite! It’s the ultimate bliss to know that you have made a person “feel full”. It’s like finding a cure for sadness and spraying sunshine and rainbows in to a room.
Before I learned about food, I had only stuffed my face with things that I thought tasted good. Now, I look for things that make my heart happy… literally! I think about how these dishes will effect my children’s outlook on food in the future. I don’t abuse our renewed relationship, or take advantage, I appreciate it. When I need a hug, I go out and get one… when I need to de-stress I go for a run. It’s about redirecting the mind! I still grab a burger here and there, but it’s not to induce self love, it’s all about the pleasure of enjoying an amazing tasting dish! And you know what… I usually enjoy it so much I don’t finish it! Stop, smell, taste, appreciate and experience:)
PS- I’d like to send a shout out to the wonderful people at Schreiber Foods, maker’s of Weight Watcher’s new low fat spreadable cheeses! I received a shipment of samples and am honored to help dispel the rumors that low-fat cheese is an oxymoron! So far my faves are the Jalapeno and Garlic Herb! I’m working on some easy and tasty recipes to share for next week, so make sure to tune in… or log in! HA!
The Never Ending Story
Today has already been so insane I’ve had to look in the mirror at least twice and convince myself to hold it together! The economy is taking it’s toll on us, and my weight loss and work out journey has started to take over my life… I knew that this would be the case, because its such a big undertaking, but the thing that I had hoped for was that I would be more organized and poised to handle it.
Jobs… well you know the product demonstrator deal… that was squashed. Remember the elder care gig… well ya one of my clients is no longer needing my care and the other is only 1 day a week… hardly enough to save for the NYC Marathon let a lone pay a bill! I feel this week like I’m going to suffocate. Speaking of being air deprived… let me fill you in on the Bolder Boulder!!
The morning of the race I did everything right… I ate my salad at 3 am so that it’d have plenty of time for digestion, I drank tons of water and I got all my gear together so that I could take a bus out to Boulder. The only thing I had to focus on was getting my mind prepared to run 6 miles or 10 Kilometers. I was on the track and ready by 7am! My wave didn’t go out till 8:23am so I had plenty of time to think… and that was the problem!! I was there for at least an hour thinking about how insane this is, and how I’m going to go from here and eventually run 26.2 miles… and how the hell did I ever imagine that I would ever be able to do it!??
I was looking for a spot to puke when I noticed a mother and daughter team next to me… the little girl smiled at me and I hit this wall of positivity! Her name was Caitlin and she was 10. She was pretty much the spitting image of myself at that age and I was in awe of her confidence… she wasn’t nervous, she was excited. I later learned that she is on her school’s running team and at her peak has run up to 9 miles!! This kid was amazing. Caitlin and I decided to start the run together and after that moment I felt like this day was going to be one to remember. I was glad that I had taken my mind off all the pressure of the event and just enjoyed the experience. I’ve learned that that is the most important thing in any adventure I take on… it’s not about winning or losing or the best time or the skinniest or even the fattest… it’s a about the people you met, the memories you made… the lives that changed that day because of the experiences others had… that’s what LIFE is. CLICK HERE FOR PICS FROM THE RACE (I’m in the Super cute black BornFit Gear)
Today while trying to watch the “Never Ending Story” with my children I had so many things going on in my head I wasn’t fully paying attention, and my kids noticed! Finally something their constant questions broke my train of thought, I was frustrated and mad at first and told them to please be quiet and watch the movie… they did and I started back to thinking… the all of a sudden I stopped… and looked over and I saw their excitement as Falcore the luck dragon came on the screen, and I started thinking about how excited I was when I first watched the movie back in 1984. (aka 1 million years ago! ha) I was overcome with emotion as I realized how special a moment this was… MY kids are watching the movie that gave me my amazing ability to never give up on my dreams… and now my babies are watching it and interpreting that message in their own little imaginations… How will this movie mold their outcomes? Will it effect them at all? I sat them in my lap and held them close, as we shared their first viewing of The Never Ending Story together. It was an experience I wouldn’t ever want to miss… chores and bills, worrying and even running can wait, those are the real never ending stories! lol
The message I’m trying to communicate is, enjoy life… and never be to busy worrying on how life is go… just enjoy being alive. I have my initial session with my sports performance psychologist/coach Ashley this week, and hopefully she will help to get this clutter out of my head so that I can start getting the most out of every second!
Jobs… well you know the product demonstrator deal… that was squashed. Remember the elder care gig… well ya one of my clients is no longer needing my care and the other is only 1 day a week… hardly enough to save for the NYC Marathon let a lone pay a bill! I feel this week like I’m going to suffocate. Speaking of being air deprived… let me fill you in on the Bolder Boulder!!
The morning of the race I did everything right… I ate my salad at 3 am so that it’d have plenty of time for digestion, I drank tons of water and I got all my gear together so that I could take a bus out to Boulder. The only thing I had to focus on was getting my mind prepared to run 6 miles or 10 Kilometers. I was on the track and ready by 7am! My wave didn’t go out till 8:23am so I had plenty of time to think… and that was the problem!! I was there for at least an hour thinking about how insane this is, and how I’m going to go from here and eventually run 26.2 miles… and how the hell did I ever imagine that I would ever be able to do it!??
I was looking for a spot to puke when I noticed a mother and daughter team next to me… the little girl smiled at me and I hit this wall of positivity! Her name was Caitlin and she was 10. She was pretty much the spitting image of myself at that age and I was in awe of her confidence… she wasn’t nervous, she was excited. I later learned that she is on her school’s running team and at her peak has run up to 9 miles!! This kid was amazing. Caitlin and I decided to start the run together and after that moment I felt like this day was going to be one to remember. I was glad that I had taken my mind off all the pressure of the event and just enjoyed the experience. I’ve learned that that is the most important thing in any adventure I take on… it’s not about winning or losing or the best time or the skinniest or even the fattest… it’s a about the people you met, the memories you made… the lives that changed that day because of the experiences others had… that’s what LIFE is. CLICK HERE FOR PICS FROM THE RACE (I’m in the Super cute black BornFit Gear)
Today while trying to watch the “Never Ending Story” with my children I had so many things going on in my head I wasn’t fully paying attention, and my kids noticed! Finally something their constant questions broke my train of thought, I was frustrated and mad at first and told them to please be quiet and watch the movie… they did and I started back to thinking… the all of a sudden I stopped… and looked over and I saw their excitement as Falcore the luck dragon came on the screen, and I started thinking about how excited I was when I first watched the movie back in 1984. (aka 1 million years ago! ha) I was overcome with emotion as I realized how special a moment this was… MY kids are watching the movie that gave me my amazing ability to never give up on my dreams… and now my babies are watching it and interpreting that message in their own little imaginations… How will this movie mold their outcomes? Will it effect them at all? I sat them in my lap and held them close, as we shared their first viewing of The Never Ending Story together. It was an experience I wouldn’t ever want to miss… chores and bills, worrying and even running can wait, those are the real never ending stories! lol
The message I’m trying to communicate is, enjoy life… and never be to busy worrying on how life is go… just enjoy being alive. I have my initial session with my sports performance psychologist/coach Ashley this week, and hopefully she will help to get this clutter out of my head so that I can start getting the most out of every second!
RACE 1: Bolder Boulder
It’s the morning before the Bolder Boulder, my first race. Tomorrow at this time I will be preparing to run, and thus officially starting my journey to NYC! I am thrilled to be ready for Boulder, but there is one thing weighing heavy on my heart today… I recently learned that one of my elderly clients will need more care than I am able to provide. Unfortunately her doctor feels that it would be best if she was transferred to an assisted living facility. I have seen such progress in her these past few weeks and I had such high hopes that she would be able to continue to maintain her independence, but I guess that just wasn’t God’s plan. She will be my inspiration tomorrow and I will make it my best run yet! I dedicate this run to M.W.
I’ve been training for this for months now and I am feeling more confident than I have in years. 3 months ago I couldn’t run 2 seconds with out getting winded… there was something about running outside that completely took me off my game. Now, I’m walk/jogging 5 miles in less than 1 hr! I’ve learned about how to prepare before a race, how my body reacts to certain foods, researched protein bars, drinks, and even gels! I’ve worked on my form, my breathing and my mental control. For who I am today, at 205 lbs I feel amazing, but a few weeks ago I wasn’t sure that I’d be here…
Unfortunately about 2 weeks ago my trainer Jamie Atlas had to bow out of working with me due to an overwhelming schedule… I thought it would be a huge road block, but it wasn’t! Within hours I found a new gym willing to help me and commit to the entire length of my journey, Next Level Strength & Conditioning. My new physical training team consists of Allison Skufka and owner Mark Swanson!
I’ve also come in contact with a woman who wants to help me with the mental side of running. Her name is Ashley Anderson and she’s a professional marathoner and a Sports Performance Psychologist! I had no idea there was such a thing, but apparently there is! A SportsPerformance Psychologist in laymen’s tenms is a person who helps you clean house upstairs so that you can get perform at your personal best in competition and training. I am sure that pro athletes have available a person like Ashley on thier team, but I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to work with one:) We haven’t had our first meeting yet, but I am sure you’ll be hearing all about it soon! I have given her permission to talk about our sessions on her blog, so if you want her inside perspective and thoughts on my journey, running or sports performance psychology in general check her out!
I’ve been training for this for months now and I am feeling more confident than I have in years. 3 months ago I couldn’t run 2 seconds with out getting winded… there was something about running outside that completely took me off my game. Now, I’m walk/jogging 5 miles in less than 1 hr! I’ve learned about how to prepare before a race, how my body reacts to certain foods, researched protein bars, drinks, and even gels! I’ve worked on my form, my breathing and my mental control. For who I am today, at 205 lbs I feel amazing, but a few weeks ago I wasn’t sure that I’d be here…
Unfortunately about 2 weeks ago my trainer Jamie Atlas had to bow out of working with me due to an overwhelming schedule… I thought it would be a huge road block, but it wasn’t! Within hours I found a new gym willing to help me and commit to the entire length of my journey, Next Level Strength & Conditioning. My new physical training team consists of Allison Skufka and owner Mark Swanson!
I’ve also come in contact with a woman who wants to help me with the mental side of running. Her name is Ashley Anderson and she’s a professional marathoner and a Sports Performance Psychologist! I had no idea there was such a thing, but apparently there is! A SportsPerformance Psychologist in laymen’s tenms is a person who helps you clean house upstairs so that you can get perform at your personal best in competition and training. I am sure that pro athletes have available a person like Ashley on thier team, but I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to work with one:) We haven’t had our first meeting yet, but I am sure you’ll be hearing all about it soon! I have given her permission to talk about our sessions on her blog, so if you want her inside perspective and thoughts on my journey, running or sports performance psychology in general check her out!
WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE
It was a hot summer day about 2 years ago… I was putting away my groceries in a supermarket parking lot minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear the voice of a woman yell out, “Lose some weight!” At first I didn’t know for sure if I had heard her right… I couldn’t stop trying to analyze it in my head. It wasn’t until my sister told me that she usually ignores “those kinds of taunts” that I realized that I was the target. I was immediately overcome with rage… how could this person, who knows nothing about me have the audacity to ridicule me in public? Without thinking I watched where she parked and began to walk over. The only things running through my mind were the obscenities I wanted to call her. I wanted to make sure that before she opened her mouth again like this… she would think long and hard… this “big girl” was ready to give this bully the opportunity to feel the full force of her 200-some odd lbs, his woman was about to get a lesson she’d never forget!
When I finally got over to her I had began to cool off, but I still wanted to make my point. When she saw that I had come over she looked TERRIFIED! She was driving with a man and a young boy (who was slightly obese). The man she was with looked happy to see me, and immediately scolded her, “I told you” he said. I started to think about how many times she must have done things like this, she must have had a lot of confidence that I wouldn’t retaliate, or defend myself… how many times had she got away with this, how long has this gone on before some stood up for themselves? One thing for sure was, I was going to stop it here… TODAY!
I asked her why she would taunt me like she did without knowing me, and all she could do was look away and fold her arms and say over and over “I’m sorry”. I felt like a teacher, having a “you need to be nice to others” talk with a grown woman… I knew I had to do something more, but what could I do? By that time a small crowd had surrounded us, and I felt that there wasn’t any way I could be happy about where this had gone without making sure she understood that what she did should never happen again… so I got mad. I got belligerent and I got in her face. I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but I completely got down to her level… screaming obscenities got the reaction I wanted, but it wasn’t until I looked over and saw the same look of fear on the young boy’s face that I cam back to my senses… I had made my point, literally loud and clear.
The boy was my reminder that I never needed to go there, I wasn’t there to hurt anyone… I was there to make a point that what this woman did was wrong. I made that point by just walking over to her and showing her that I was not afraid of her. I had made my point before I got mean… I turned in to the same person and I know that’s not who I reall am, so I stopped and tried to get it together for the sake of this child. I know this was also a lesson for him, and I needed to make sure it ended positively.
I stopped, regained my composure and calmly told her that she better think twice before she ever does anything like this again, because it’s NOT okay. I apologized for losing my temper, and thanked her for opening my eyes as well. We both learned a lesson in tolerance that day. I learned ignorace isn’t always bliss, but leading by example as opposed anger is the best stadegy for success. I’m proving to the world that us ”Plus Size Divas” have heart, we are beautiful and a positive attitude will ALWAYS prevail… class dismissed:)
When I finally got over to her I had began to cool off, but I still wanted to make my point. When she saw that I had come over she looked TERRIFIED! She was driving with a man and a young boy (who was slightly obese). The man she was with looked happy to see me, and immediately scolded her, “I told you” he said. I started to think about how many times she must have done things like this, she must have had a lot of confidence that I wouldn’t retaliate, or defend myself… how many times had she got away with this, how long has this gone on before some stood up for themselves? One thing for sure was, I was going to stop it here… TODAY!
I asked her why she would taunt me like she did without knowing me, and all she could do was look away and fold her arms and say over and over “I’m sorry”. I felt like a teacher, having a “you need to be nice to others” talk with a grown woman… I knew I had to do something more, but what could I do? By that time a small crowd had surrounded us, and I felt that there wasn’t any way I could be happy about where this had gone without making sure she understood that what she did should never happen again… so I got mad. I got belligerent and I got in her face. I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but I completely got down to her level… screaming obscenities got the reaction I wanted, but it wasn’t until I looked over and saw the same look of fear on the young boy’s face that I cam back to my senses… I had made my point, literally loud and clear.
The boy was my reminder that I never needed to go there, I wasn’t there to hurt anyone… I was there to make a point that what this woman did was wrong. I made that point by just walking over to her and showing her that I was not afraid of her. I had made my point before I got mean… I turned in to the same person and I know that’s not who I reall am, so I stopped and tried to get it together for the sake of this child. I know this was also a lesson for him, and I needed to make sure it ended positively.
I stopped, regained my composure and calmly told her that she better think twice before she ever does anything like this again, because it’s NOT okay. I apologized for losing my temper, and thanked her for opening my eyes as well. We both learned a lesson in tolerance that day. I learned ignorace isn’t always bliss, but leading by example as opposed anger is the best stadegy for success. I’m proving to the world that us ”Plus Size Divas” have heart, we are beautiful and a positive attitude will ALWAYS prevail… class dismissed:)
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