Finding Light in the Darkness

On Monday I got an email that kind of rocked my world... and not in a good way. It was from a friend who is a web-series talk show host. She is going to be interviewing a Mother who recently lost her 12yr old daughter (Brianna Canacari) to suicide. When I read the press on this story I immediately felt my stomach turn, as a Mom I was devastated. It also hit me hard, because at 17 I also tried to take my life. All the memories of my teen years came flooding back. I remembered the feelings of not being good enough, nobody understanding who I was, and the feeling that nobody cares. I remembered how I had planned my funeral and even how I wanted to be dressed in my casket, I had it all on paper. At the time I think I felt invisible and I wanted to matter... if I was gone, maybe people would finally notice I was overlooked. I wanted to be my own person, and finding out who I wanted to be, but still had to rely on my parents and follow the rules. Every emotion was so intense; I remember those days like it was yesterday. I am so thankful that I was unsuccessful in the attempt to take my life. I didn't really see death as permanent. I didn't think of the proms and graduations I'd miss... being a bride and now a parent. I couldn't at that time in my life fathom the joy of these experiences, and that's why they were so easy to dismiss in my times of depression.
In Brianna's story I read something that struck me. She had put a post on her Myspace page in March that said something like "suicide was the only way", and her mother deemed that as NOT a sign her child was asking for help. Granted she didn't know about the post till after her daughter's death... but how could she not see that as a sign? Brianna's Mom seemed to be a bubbly and positive woman that worked hard and loved her family. If her child was looking for help, she seemed like to type to run to her rescue... so how did she miss this?
Then, I started to look at my own life and how I am living so much for myself right now... could I have missed it? I feel so wrapped up in how many miles I've run, or how I'm going to get dinner on the table before I have to go to a training session. I am constantly reminding myself to stay positive and focused... it's exhausting. And at the end of the day, when my daughter asks me to snuggle with her or read a story before bed, I admit... sometimes I've been too wrapped up emails, phone calls, and ME that I forget. My little angel is only 4 yrs old and full of forgiveness, but someday she'll notice that Mommy wasn't there, and Brianna's story helped me to remember that.

We as parents often envision this evil man lurking in the bushes waiting to take our children from us, so we prepare them for dealing with strangers. We make sure they say NO to drugs, but where is the awareness of suicide? We never think something like this could happen,but the truth is it happens more often than you think. Nationwide, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says suicide is the third leading cause of death for youth ages 10 to 24. About 4,500 youths are lost each year.
I have to be honest, at first I was not happy with the broad stage Brianna's mother was taking in sharing her daughter's death. Suicide is something that people don't talk about. People see suicide as shameful and if you're religious... an unforgivable sin. Then I realized how important it is that Brianna did not die in vein. I commend her mother for sharing her daughter's story. By doing this, she is raising awareness, and maybe another child's life will be saved. It's so important that we are a part of our children's lives (and not the other way around). We need to let them know they are never alone. They just want to be heard and we must be the ones to listen.
If you, or a loved one is having thoughts of suicide please seek help.
Safe2Tell at 877-542-SAFE (7233).
You never know if they're serious until it's too late.

Buried In Her Own Body: 450 lbs to Freedom!

Hey guys! This week I’m going to start shaking it up a bit. Since I’ve started this blog I’ve wanted to make it a place where anyone can come and learn MY journey to a better me. ( Speaking of… I ran my personal longest run of 10 miles this weekend! WOOO!) It’s been great, but at times I feel a bit narcissistic, because I know there are lots of journeys out there that are just as derserving to be shared!

Every last Sunday of the month I want to give you the opportunity to meet other Mom’s out there trying to not only make it in the world of business and family… but also Mother’s dealing with the ups and downs of self image, weight and health. Since I myself am dealing with these issues I feel that it’s important to get as many perspectives on the topics at possible, because something that touches me, may not hit you the same way.

The first “Wonder Woman” I’d like to introduce is the amazing Ms. Sandra Kelley! Kelley is a life coach and self esteem expert for the morbidly and super obese and loving Mother of 1, Malcom. She has a blog and radio show that focus oon outreach to people struggling with obesity. Kelley hopes to help others find the peace of knowing they’re not alone. She found her calling after undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 1997, thus losing an amazing 200 lbs. Her max weight, right before bypass surgery was 450 lbs.

Hi Sandra! Thanks so much for doing this interview, I can’t wait to share your story with my readers, so let’s get started!

Sophia: First off, I was so excited to hear that you are a fellow runner! What made you want to run?What race did you do? How long did you train? What did you do to prepare?

Kelley: Being obese all of my life I would go to bed at night and dream of the ability to run. I often wondered what it would feel like, the exhilaration of the movement. As I began to lose weight I do so first by walking then by running. I started off small; when I exercised I would go outside and run literally from one mailbox to another. I couldn’t go any further at the time. But after time and consistency I was able to run further as my body became stronger. I decided to run a 5K and at the time I weighed 350 pounds. My goal was to One-finish by running the entire way and Two-not to be the last person to complete the race. I achieved both and it is a feeling I will never forget. I suggest train daily, stay focused, and just remember to do the very best you can. The sensation of being with all the other runners, the smells, the adrenaline there is nothing like it. I will remember it always. It’s a rush like no other. Take in everything and just appreciate the opportunity you have to just have the ability to run the race. Enjoy it!!

Sophia: Great work! I’m ready to go out and run! How much does exercise impact your daily and continued success with maintaining or even losing weight today?

Kelley: It is essential. I tell clients, and those I speak with at conferences as well as my radio show that exercise must become like breathing.

Sophia: You’ve done so well with keeping the weight off, has being a mentor to others helped you to do this? Do you feel you are supposed to help others, or is this something that has just comes natural?

Kelley: Yes, I feel that God saved me from obesity so that I could help others and let them know they can lose the weight. Because of my weight loss I have been given the opportunity to begin my life again.

Sophia: The name of your blog is TOUCH 52:11. Is this a biblical reference or a date?

Kelley: Yes!!! It stands for Taking Over Unwanted Character Hurts-I chose the word TOUCH because as an obese person people rarely wanted to touch or embrace me. At my conferences I will always embrace those who come. I want them to know that they are all beautiful to me. 52:11 comes from the scripture Isaiah 52:11, this is the scripture God gave to me to describe the assignment he has chose for me.

Sophia: Sandra who were you at your heaviest and how did you feel about yourself?

Kelley: I was ashamed and had no self confidence about myself. I often did all I could to succeed at every other area in my life but my weight always held me back in the end. I was told I would never be able to have children because of my weight, I had sleep apnea and I was always in pain because of the sheer amount of weight I had to carry around.

Sophia: You’re a mother now; did your weight affect your child? Was your child a reason for more weight gain? Or even weight loss?

Kelley: I actually lost over 200 pounds before I became pregnant with my now 9 year old son which I must say is a blessing within itself. I had my son Malcolm in 2000. At the time I was in a very abusive marriage and after my son was born my depression, insecurity, and bad eating habits returned. From my son’s birth until he was about 3 years old I also suffered from postpartum depression. It was a horrible time in my life. I eventually gained all 200 pounds back.

Sophia: Wow, I’m so sorry… but you’ve obviously “got back on the wagon”! That’s a huge testament to your passion for health. It’s so easy to be thrown off with life’s hardships and obstacles. I still find myself knee deep in emotional eating, it’s like an addiction sometimes. Hearing your response to having a setback after losing 200 lbs is heartbreaking… but these weight loss pics are AMAZING! I congratulate you on your success! Do you want to continue to lose weight or have you reached your goal?

Kelley: One of my goals that I express with my clients and through my business is Lifestyle Living. Lifestyle Living is a system in which you must realize that maintaining your weight is a lifetime process. I don’t concentrate on the amount of weight I need to lose nor do I lose weight for an event or a social occasion because that can set one up for failure. I do continue to lose weight but I understand it’s something that I must always work on and work towards.

Sophia: You had surgery in 97, this was before it was as common as it is now… 200 lbs later do you feel that it was still the right choice?

Kelley: The only choice. In 1997 the gastric bypass/weight lost surgery was done behind closed doors. It was a very evasive surgery at the time. I still have the markings from the surgery. I was cut from my navel to my breast bone. It is a badge of honor; I don’t regret it AT ALL. I got my life back.

Sophia: Do you think that taking the road of weight loss surgery was “easier” than trying to lose the weight with just diet changes and exercise?

Kelley: I often convey that having the surgery is the hardest thing you can do if you are trying to lose weight. Many people think that once you have the surgery the weight comes off and everything is perfect. They don’t understand that you must deal with the emotional aspect of loosing masses amount of weight, dealing with the attitudes of family and friends who may support you at the beginning, but who can often become negative as you continue to loose weight and gain confidence. This was the only plan for me because I had done every diet and because of my size I couldn’t exercise. Having the surgery was the best decision for me. If I wouldn’t have had the surgery I would be either close to 900-1,000 pounds or I would be dead from obesity. I was gaining close to 100 pounds a year.

Sophia: I’ve done a lot of research on weight loss surgery, and I commend your for your courage to take control of your life. I wasn’t able to commit to surgery, but it’s obviously been a blessing for you and I support that 100%. Whether you’ve had surgery or lost the weight other ways, after significant weight loss people can have identity issues because for most of their lives, weight has defined them. How have you been able to accept and embrace the new you? What advice do you have for others dealing with this struggle now?

Kelley: My advice for those who have gone through a huge weight lost is to take it day by day. Embrace the new you, and know that you can begin anew. I have been given a new start on life and I am embracing all that life has to offer.

Sophia: You seem so confident and positive; do you still have those dark days you speak about in your blog?

Kelley: I do have those days, it is an everyday process. I must speak the positive energy into my life every day. I used to have my 450 pounds days, meaning I would look in the mirror and still see myself as severely obese. But I now see myself in the beauty that God has created me. I see the entire me and I love it!!

Sophia: Well said! One last question for you Sandra; what would you like most for people to know about you and T.O.U.C.H. 52:11, INC?

Kelley: I am here to educate society about the world of the severely obese. It is apart of society that many don’t want to address or speak about. There are so many individuals in the homes right now, not able to leave home because of their size, there are many who are reading this interview who are emotional abused everyday from others because of their weight, and there are those who feel like there is no hope for them. I am here to tell them all YOU CAN DO IT!! You can change those habits, thought processes and feelings that you have about yourself. Work towards it everyday. Stay consistent, focused and determined. Your success is waiting on you…Go get it!!!

THANK YOU SANDRA for chatting with me, and sharing your heroic and inspiring story with us today. I know you’ve touched a lot of readers out there. If you’d like more info on Ms. Sandra Kelley and her services please check out her info below!

Sandra Kelley M.S. Education
T.O.U.C.H. 52:11 INC.
Weekly radio show on Blog Talk radio every Tuesday at 8:00pm

If you know of a Mom that deserves a spotlight for her health/fitness success, please tell me their story! email me @ Sophiaayalagettys@gmail.com Thanks for reading and your continued support! XOXO -Sophia

RACE 2: ZOOMA, THE NO TELL MOTEL, BUGS AND BIG BLACK DOGS! OH MY!

As I drove up to the motel at 10pm-ish the night before Zooma I felt a slight roll of peace come over me. I made it. I had nothing on my mind but preparing for my next race. My first order of business and my last, was to get in to this room and get in to bed! I checked in quickly and went on up. I hauled all my bags (I’m a girl, yes I had more than one, plus one for food) up 4 floors. I noticed how dingey and it was and as I arrived at my room I got a sense of panic. It was super dark, there were tons of men standing out side just hanging out and I felt like SCARED FEMALE, ALONE was stapled to my forehead. I rushed in to the room and dropped my bags and then tried to lock the door. For some reason it didn’t want to lock. so I pulled it out a bit and THEN it locked. I tried to be cool and not notice that my door was half open but I felt unsafe, so I got my stuff together and went get another room. The hotel attendant said no problem I hauled my stuff to room #2.
Again, a sense of relief came over me and I was excited to get to bed, until I turned around and noticed the lamp on the desk near the door was swarming with little bugs! Totally grossed out, but exhaughsted I figureded I better suck it up. So (as I usually do) I took down the covers and checked the bed for bugs… You can just imagine my face when I see the sheets are stained, a dead rollie pollie under the pillow and then a smashed fly on the other side and a bed bug all waiting to cuddle with me!! Instead of continuing on this “adventure” I decided my car would be much more comfortable. So I got back to the front desk to ask for a refund. Unfortunately for me I bought my room on orbitz so a refund was not an option. I would have to take it up with them if I wanted my money back. I was furious and just as I was about to call orbitz another angry guest approached the front desk. This woman had also just arrived and found blood on her toilet, it wouldn’t flush and like me her door wouldn’t lock without being ajar! At his point I was DONE! The guy offered me another room but I just couldn’t do it. By this time I got the best idea all night and called my bank to cancel the payment to orbitz. ON TO THE BROADMOOR… parking lot that is.

I found a nice spot right next to the race start and settled in to my seat. I decided to turn on some talk radio to get my mind off the prior events and relax. It was only a few minutes later that I realized I was listening to Coast to Coast, a show where the host talks about all things PARANORMAL! Usually this is one of my favorite topics, but not when I’m sitting in my car… alone… at 2am and unfamiliar wilderness all around me! The topic was about a big black dog with red eyes that people report seeing before bad things happen. I was freaking out because, I sweaer I saw this dog last week! So by this point I’m so intrigued in the conversation that I can’t turn it off. I’m so scared I can’t close my eyes and I have this nagging feeling to look out in to the dark night. I finally gave in and realized I was parked next to a church! I calmed for only a second because as I lay back down, I got a glimpse of a GIANT CAT looking thing running across the street right towards my car! I threw myself back and rolled on to my side in the fetal position. I was ready to just pack up and go home when at about 2:30am I finally turn off the radio. I returned to the fetal position, covered my head with a shirt from a my bag and finally drift off to sleep.
5:00 am came fast and I was awaken by the rising sun and event workers preparing for the race! It was time to find a bathroom and change. I was surprisingly perky, drank some water, took my vitamins, and ate 2 bananas and 1 apple. I was ready to face the day with a smile and put my poopy night behind me and then about 2 minutes before the race started I had to go to the bathroom! (I think it was nerves. When I run I have to go 100 times!) So I jump in this never ending line hoping that once the race starts everyone will run for the start and I will be able to get a break! Thank God it works, and I hopped in just as end of the pack pass the start!
My pace was slow but I didn’t care, I was ready to run! I did really well up until I hit this hill. The hill that started off nice and easy, but got steeper and steeper and went on for what felt like forever. Usually for me the first few miles are the hardest, but once I get my pace going I feel like I can do anything! Unfortunately this time the hill was getting to me, and I couldn’t catch my zone. So I got tired and right as I hit the water station I started to walk. I hit the bathroom again and continued walking up the rest of the hill.

At this point I was getting to a bad place with negative self talk and even with all the cheers from on lookers I couldn’t get it going again until I hit the down slope and I felt like a kid in a candy store as I flew down. ”It’s going to be okay” I thought to myself. “I can do this!” Then about 20 runners flew past me! They were at the end of their second lap around the course and the wind was completely let out of my sail. They were so fast! I started asking myself ”why and I even trying to do this?” , “I’ll never be as good as them”, “I don’t belong here”, ”I don’t deserve to be here”… Then I looked at my watch and it was time for a gel, I slammed it and kept on running.
The second lap was good until I hit the hill again. I was already defeated but I knew I wasn’t going to quit. I just had to make it up. So I walk as fast as I can and as I start to approach the water station I take a bad turn. Now I was ready to stop. I was ready to just sit on the side of the road and cry. Then right as as I started to stop I looked up and saw the picture of this little boy on a sign. The caption said that every 10 minutes a person dies of a blood cancer… this station was run by the people of Team in Training. (Team in training raises money for cures for blood cancers like leukemia — the No. 1 disease killer of children – lymphoma and myeloma) I stopped my moment of self pitty and pulled it together. Nothing I am feeling could be as hard to endure as fighting for my life. I came in to the water station, I took one glass of water to drink and the other I poured on to my head! It was ICE COLD and I think my heart even stopped for a second! Whatever it was, I was recharged and ready to get to that finish line. I tried to jog up the hill, but my jog was slower than a few speed walkers so I caught their pace made it up! Finally, I hit the top of the hill and took off! I kept my pace nice and comfortable and made it down with ease. Once I saw the finish I took my pace up a few more notches and ran as fast as I could go. I finished at 1:43 mins. This time was slower than almost everyone there, but I finished and that was my goal. Crossing the finish line felt so amazing ( and I hadn’t caught my breath) I almost caught myself in a panic attack! I calmed down with a slow walk and my run was over.
I finished the day with helping out at the BornFit booth during the after-party:) Lisa and Jamie made it better and I even sold some BornFit product! I love it lol so it wasn’t a hard sale. I had to take an hour nap in ANOTHER PARKING LOT lol on the way home because I was too tired but I feel great today and am looking forward to my next race! I think I’ll do one more 10K before the Bear Chase Half Marathon or 50K Oct 3rd (I’m hoping to do the 50K but if I’m not ready I’ll go with the half marathon).
I battled bugs, a monster hill and myself this weekend and I made it through to the other side. I never knew that there was this Sophia inside of me. I love everything about me right now. I feel like I can do anything and I am so thankful. Life is going to be so different in the next few months… it’s time to step it up! NYC HERE I COME!
I wish I had pics of me at these races. Unfortunately I don’t have anyone there to take any:( So I’ll use this one to decribe how I felt!

Love Love Love… All You Need Is Love!

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

My heart pounding, my head is throbbing, my body is tingling and my legs are pounding the pavement…I’m in a rhythm that I can’t stop, even if I wanted to… step step step breath… step step step breath… a slow song starts to play on my ipod and I look up. The sun is just stating to blaze, it’s warm and the light is almost golden… all around me are little floating cotton wood clusters and for just a second I wonder if I’m in heaven. I have to shake my head and look down at my watch to shock me back in to reality… I’ve been running for 2 hours and 40 minutes… I’ve almost completed 9 miles, my longest distance to date!

Today I pushed myself farther than I’ve ever pushed myself before. Immediately after the run I could barely walk, lol let alone stand up. I never thought I’d get used to that feeling of complete exhaustion and I’ve NEVER felt this type of “hurts so good” pain, but it’s addicting! They say runners have to be a little crazy to want to push their bodies to it’s limits just to know that they can…I get it now. I’m not the fastest by any stretch of the imagination, but I have had more self confidence growth in these short months of training than I’ve had in my entire life!

Each run I am trapped in my own head for over 2 hours. I am forced to compartmentalize my thoughts and to let my mind wonder. I’ve had a stressful week and during this time it’s only me I have to worry about. Sometimes it’s hard to get to that place of nirvana but when you get there… it’s like walking through a dream! I visualize the crowds cheering me on in NYC, what the streets will look like as I trek though times square and over the Brooklyn bridge… and through Central Park. I think about all the people that have been so supportive on this journey and am so filled with passion and love I get bursts of energy and before I know it I’ve traveled a few more miles. I have never been good at individual sports, but now I see why. I wasn’t a good individual… I didn’t like who I was. Now I enjoy the time I get to be me… no interruptions, just music! Today I was feeling all the love and just as perfect as a soundtrack of my life, the Beatles All You Need is Love came on and I almost started to cry. Needless to say, I was totally feelin it.

Thank you, to each and every person who has helped me to reach this point. I could never be here with out you. If LOVE is all you need, then I can never fail… you know who you are… and I LOVE YOU right back:)

Am I Seeing a Pattern Here?

Sunday, June 27th, 2010
When I was 10, my Grandparents took me to an all you can eat buffet called Sir George’s. I will never forget that day, because I learned a valuable lesson about moderation… on this day I ate so much I threw up! In a society where feeling good and instant gratification reigns supreme, and over indulgence is the norm I find myself torn. For me this has come in several different packages and situations…such as food, weight issues, and now with my training! I can’t stop thinking that I’m not doing enough. so I do a little more than I should. When that happens, I am punished with knee pain, exaughston and again I realize that too much of a good thing can be bad.
This was the second week that I have run with the training group Runner’s Edge and I was able to pull out the longest tour to date! Today, I was able to run without stopping about 7.5 miles and walked about a quarter of the last mile for a total of 8 miles! The best part was that I did more than I ever knew I could… but the bad thing is that I took about the same time to finish as I did when I walked in the past. (maybe even more) I can’t begin to tell how frustrating that is, but it’s all about learning what your unique body can do… and I have to learn to be willing to try everything I need to in order to get the best time and also keep my body from falling apart.
So I pushed myself to 8 miles and mentally I feel amazing, but a day later I am one sore puppy! I’m faced withthe dilemma of listening to that nagging voice in my head telling me to force myself to “run and run and don’t give in to the pain”… or listening to my body… To tell you the truth I’m really hung up on running the entire race, but not if it makes my time longer! What should I do? Is it better to have run and walked… or to have run and never walked at all? It feels Nov 7th is coming at me like a freight train, and I have to be patient because NYC has NEVER felt so attainable… I have an amazing team behind me so I relinquish my control to them follow their advice and guidance and success is just down the road. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? I am not even close to being Rome… haha so I know this could take a while!
PS! I’ll be a guest on a new web-series talk show called Voices of Reality on Friday July 2nd at 6:00 PM! Here’s the link to watch LIVE! Kasha Fauscett and I discuss food, fitness, Worst Cooks and the journey to NYC thus far!
http://www.voicesofreality.com/
Till then check out my latest cooking demo!
NIGERIAN STEW
Quick, easy and delicious!
Ingredients
1/2 white onion
16oz of steak (any red meat or cut can work)
1/4 cup Olive Oil
1/4 tsp Garlic Salt (or to taste)
1/4 tsp Sage (or to taste)
1/4 tsp Thyme (or to taste)
Raja to taste (how hot do you want it?)
1/4 tsp Garlic Pepper (or to taste)
1 can of tomato sauce (12oz)
1 TBSP Tomato paste
4 TBSP Salsa
1 cup water
Prep
You’ll need a large pot and set heat to med-high, chop onion, chop or cube meat.
Take olive oil and pour in to warming pot.

Next take meat and begin to brown.

Add seasoning in order mentioned above.

Add onions make sure oils cover and then let sweat for approx 2 mins

Tomato sauce, then paste, salsa, then water, stir to make sure ingredients are evenly distributed.

Finally let “stew” for 5 mins, stir and serve!

Crackers and a cool drink complete this quick, healthy and flavorful dish!

On the UPs

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

Today was an amazing Father’s day, and I would like to send out a THANK YOU to a man that has helped me to become the strong woman I am today. I’d like to thank my Daddy, Paul David Ayala. My Dad hasn’t always made my life easy… he’s made me work hard for successes in my youth in grades and in sports. The one thing I know about my Father, is that he’s always believed in me. When I wanted to do something he’s always been there to help me achieve my goals. Nowadays he’s stepped onto the sidelines and become more of a spectator, but the guidance that he’s provided to me in my life has helped me learn to have the courage to never give up. That’s why this journey will be a success… when you believe in me Daddy, I believe in myself.
This week all I have to tell you about are UPs. I am officially sponsored by Runner’s Roost, and they have hooked me up with Runner’s Edge of the Rockies! They are a runner’s group led by David Manthey a guy who who is a runner and dream a maker. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to be following my dreams… my bliss… and my heart! The even cooler part is that people believe in me, so much so that they’re investing in me. I have everything I need for success on this journey and there’s no excuse for failure. NYC has NEVER looked so attainable.
I ran on Saturday and OMG! I completely surprised myself! I ran 6 miles in 1 hr and 26 mins… this included a little walking and also a bathroom break. When we clocked my miles, I shaved a whole minute off since the Bolder Boulder! I know it’s the hard work I’ve put in at the gym and working on my strength and conditioning. So currently my training schedule is: M-F Strength and conditioning for about an hour, running with this training team on Saturdays and on my own 2-3 other days a week 3-6 miles, and finally meeting with my mental training coach every other week.
I’ve decided my next race will be in CO Springs, its a woman’s series race called Zooma. I will run the 10K on July 17th 2010. After that I’m not sure… but I did decide to run the Rock N Roll Denver half Marathon in OCT and save my first total marathon for NYC! I would love to run an entire marathon before that, but I also don’t want to over do it. So I’m taking the backseat on the decision to just do a half and then go for the full 26.2 miles Nov 7th!
This is a special Sophia CHEATING GOOD recipe using Weight Watcher’s new low fat cream cheese, quick and easy for guests or the a snack for the family. I found the cheeses to rival my favorite spreadable cheeses and to know that they are LOW FAT, Come on! My fave if just snacking, is the Jalapeno on a water cracker… the cream cheese with anything and tastes amazing. I was thinking of chopping up some veggies and getting a garden veg blend going. The only one I wasn’t in love with was the Peppercorn Parmesan and that’s mainly because I’m not a huge pepper fan. But overall I will definitely buy these products again… they go right along with my healthier lifestyle and my motto of CHEATING GOOD.


BLACK BEAN CHILI CHEESE DIP
Ingredients
1/4 of a small white onion
1 can Black Bean Chili (you can use your fave regular chili too but it’s cheating a little more)
1 pkg Weight Watcher’s low fat cream cheese
1 roll water crackers

Prep
Finely chop 1/4 of small white onion. (Size will vary to preference)

Take 1 can of black bean chili and heat for approx 35 seconds in the microwave. Next take the brick of cream cheese and lay it on a plate or platter. Pour warmed chili over the cheese and sprinkle the onion over the dish and arrange crackers and ENJOY!

It’s not about not eating your fav foods, it’s about making better and healthier choices! If you cheat GOOD when you cheat, than YOU are taking control of your lifestyle. It’s easy and it feels good! Now get out there and LIVE!

Thanks again to Schrieber Foods makers of Weight Watcher’s new line of LOW FAT CHEESES! for the allowing me to sample your tasty product! I’m sold!

JUST A SHOUT OUT TO THE PEEPS FOLLOWING MY BLOG!!

HEY!! Just wanted to say THANK YOU TO:

iloay
Koibito
Julianne Tillis
Kimberly Pruitt
JK
Sophie

It's cool to know somebody is reading these! lol Not just sending them out in to the abyss:) I appreciate that you took the time to check out my rants.

XOXO
Sophia

My Former Backstabbing Best Friend

Have you ever had a friend that made you feel so good when they were around that they became like a drug? This friend was always there when you needed them… you could spill your deepest darkest secrets to them and they’d never tell a soul… or so you thought… Well I’ve had a friend like that. This so called friend made me feel like nothing else mattered at that moment except instant gratification. I was over come by it’s temptation and pseudo security… I gave in to it every time. Over the years this friend has been a bad influence on my relationships and my health. I loved it, but I hated it all at the same time. Every one of you reading this has met my friend… Hello, I am Sophia Ayala Gettys and my backstabbing best friend, my drug is food.
Food, how many things I’ve learned about this absolutely beautiful thing. This giver of life, pleasure, art and passion. I have struggled with my weight and I’ve always looked for reasons why food has always made me feel so good during a time when I need to be cuddled and protected… and after lots of soul searching I think I know why. I had always seen my family gathered and happy during a meal… holidays were excuses for treats and extraordinary dishes… dates and valentines included food… food has always equaled love. So I looked at food as my friend… food let me know that I was safe, that I wasn’t alone, that people loved me, that happiness existed, food brought me peace.
In college I remember a lonely night in my dorm room… I ate so much food I cleared my cabinet. I ate everything, but I still felt empty. Later as a newlywed I turned to food as a coping tool during a fragile marriage and then again after a losing a pregnancy. I began growing this shield of flesh around my body… and it helped to guard me from having to deal with my problems. I didn’t see the obvious change in my size, because I ignored it. I just didn’t care. It wasn’t until I had my children that I started to realize how important my relationship with food was for them.
As a Mother we are the ones teaching our children how to cope with life and stress. If I continued to share with my children my relationship, they may have followed in my footsteps. Fortunately for me, I had the extraordinary opportunity to learn about food with some of the best chefs in the US. Their passion has helped me to see my old friend in a new light! I have found that it’s not the food that was my problem… it was my relationship with it… and just like any relationship it can be fixed, all we have to do is take that first step in learning. Can I ask you this? When is the last time you sat and made a home-made from scratch meal? When is the last time you sat down and knew exactly what you were putting in to your mouth? Slaving over the stove for most seems a thing of the past… and even sometimes anti-progressive… but people I can’t tell you how fulfilling it is!
When I sit down to a meal that I have created, I feel like a Van Gogh. I am an artist and I have created a masterpiece to share with my family or friends… I have put my heart and soul in to a meal. When I cook now, I can’t enjoy a meal when I am the hostess… because all I can do is look in to the faces of the people taking their first bite and hanging on to that expression as they savor each bite! It’s the ultimate bliss to know that you have made a person “feel full”. It’s like finding a cure for sadness and spraying sunshine and rainbows in to a room.
Before I learned about food, I had only stuffed my face with things that I thought tasted good. Now, I look for things that make my heart happy… literally! I think about how these dishes will effect my children’s outlook on food in the future. I don’t abuse our renewed relationship, or take advantage, I appreciate it. When I need a hug, I go out and get one… when I need to de-stress I go for a run. It’s about redirecting the mind! I still grab a burger here and there, but it’s not to induce self love, it’s all about the pleasure of enjoying an amazing tasting dish! And you know what… I usually enjoy it so much I don’t finish it! Stop, smell, taste, appreciate and experience:)

PS- I’d like to send a shout out to the wonderful people at Schreiber Foods, maker’s of Weight Watcher’s new low fat spreadable cheeses! I received a shipment of samples and am honored to help dispel the rumors that low-fat cheese is an oxymoron! So far my faves are the Jalapeno and Garlic Herb! I’m working on some easy and tasty recipes to share for next week, so make sure to tune in… or log in! HA!

The Never Ending Story

Today has already been so insane I’ve had to look in the mirror at least twice and convince myself to hold it together! The economy is taking it’s toll on us, and my weight loss and work out journey has started to take over my life… I knew that this would be the case, because its such a big undertaking, but the thing that I had hoped for was that I would be more organized and poised to handle it.
Jobs… well you know the product demonstrator deal… that was squashed. Remember the elder care gig… well ya one of my clients is no longer needing my care and the other is only 1 day a week… hardly enough to save for the NYC Marathon let a lone pay a bill! I feel this week like I’m going to suffocate. Speaking of being air deprived… let me fill you in on the Bolder Boulder!!
The morning of the race I did everything right… I ate my salad at 3 am so that it’d have plenty of time for digestion, I drank tons of water and I got all my gear together so that I could take a bus out to Boulder. The only thing I had to focus on was getting my mind prepared to run 6 miles or 10 Kilometers. I was on the track and ready by 7am! My wave didn’t go out till 8:23am so I had plenty of time to think… and that was the problem!! I was there for at least an hour thinking about how insane this is, and how I’m going to go from here and eventually run 26.2 miles… and how the hell did I ever imagine that I would ever be able to do it!??
I was looking for a spot to puke when I noticed a mother and daughter team next to me… the little girl smiled at me and I hit this wall of positivity! Her name was Caitlin and she was 10. She was pretty much the spitting image of myself at that age and I was in awe of her confidence… she wasn’t nervous, she was excited. I later learned that she is on her school’s running team and at her peak has run up to 9 miles!! This kid was amazing. Caitlin and I decided to start the run together and after that moment I felt like this day was going to be one to remember. I was glad that I had taken my mind off all the pressure of the event and just enjoyed the experience. I’ve learned that that is the most important thing in any adventure I take on… it’s not about winning or losing or the best time or the skinniest or even the fattest… it’s a about the people you met, the memories you made… the lives that changed that day because of the experiences others had… that’s what LIFE is. CLICK HERE FOR PICS FROM THE RACE (I’m in the Super cute black BornFit Gear)
Today while trying to watch the “Never Ending Story” with my children I had so many things going on in my head I wasn’t fully paying attention, and my kids noticed! Finally something their constant questions broke my train of thought, I was frustrated and mad at first and told them to please be quiet and watch the movie… they did and I started back to thinking… the all of a sudden I stopped… and looked over and I saw their excitement as Falcore the luck dragon came on the screen, and I started thinking about how excited I was when I first watched the movie back in 1984. (aka 1 million years ago! ha) I was overcome with emotion as I realized how special a moment this was… MY kids are watching the movie that gave me my amazing ability to never give up on my dreams… and now my babies are watching it and interpreting that message in their own little imaginations… How will this movie mold their outcomes? Will it effect them at all? I sat them in my lap and held them close, as we shared their first viewing of The Never Ending Story together. It was an experience I wouldn’t ever want to miss… chores and bills, worrying and even running can wait, those are the real never ending stories! lol
The message I’m trying to communicate is, enjoy life… and never be to busy worrying on how life is go… just enjoy being alive. I have my initial session with my sports performance psychologist/coach Ashley this week, and hopefully she will help to get this clutter out of my head so that I can start getting the most out of every second!

RACE 1: Bolder Boulder

It’s the morning before the Bolder Boulder, my first race. Tomorrow at this time I will be preparing to run, and thus officially starting my journey to NYC! I am thrilled to be ready for Boulder, but there is one thing weighing heavy on my heart today… I recently learned that one of my elderly clients will need more care than I am able to provide. Unfortunately her doctor feels that it would be best if she was transferred to an assisted living facility. I have seen such progress in her these past few weeks and I had such high hopes that she would be able to continue to maintain her independence, but I guess that just wasn’t God’s plan. She will be my inspiration tomorrow and I will make it my best run yet! I dedicate this run to M.W.
I’ve been training for this for months now and I am feeling more confident than I have in years. 3 months ago I couldn’t run 2 seconds with out getting winded… there was something about running outside that completely took me off my game. Now, I’m walk/jogging 5 miles in less than 1 hr! I’ve learned about how to prepare before a race, how my body reacts to certain foods, researched protein bars, drinks, and even gels! I’ve worked on my form, my breathing and my mental control. For who I am today, at 205 lbs I feel amazing, but a few weeks ago I wasn’t sure that I’d be here…
Unfortunately about 2 weeks ago my trainer Jamie Atlas had to bow out of working with me due to an overwhelming schedule… I thought it would be a huge road block, but it wasn’t! Within hours I found a new gym willing to help me and commit to the entire length of my journey, Next Level Strength & Conditioning. My new physical training team consists of Allison Skufka and owner Mark Swanson!
I’ve also come in contact with a woman who wants to help me with the mental side of running. Her name is Ashley Anderson and she’s a professional marathoner and a Sports Performance Psychologist! I had no idea there was such a thing, but apparently there is! A SportsPerformance Psychologist in laymen’s tenms is a person who helps you clean house upstairs so that you can get perform at your personal best in competition and training. I am sure that pro athletes have available a person like Ashley on thier team, but I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to work with one:) We haven’t had our first meeting yet, but I am sure you’ll be hearing all about it soon! I have given her permission to talk about our sessions on her blog, so if you want her inside perspective and thoughts on my journey, running or sports performance psychology in general check her out!

WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

It was a hot summer day about 2 years ago… I was putting away my groceries in a supermarket parking lot minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear the voice of a woman yell out, “Lose some weight!” At first I didn’t know for sure if I had heard her right… I couldn’t stop trying to analyze it in my head. It wasn’t until my sister told me that she usually ignores “those kinds of taunts” that I realized that I was the target. I was immediately overcome with rage… how could this person, who knows nothing about me have the audacity to ridicule me in public? Without thinking I watched where she parked and began to walk over. The only things running through my mind were the obscenities I wanted to call her. I wanted to make sure that before she opened her mouth again like this… she would think long and hard… this “big girl” was ready to give this bully the opportunity to feel the full force of her 200-some odd lbs, his woman was about to get a lesson she’d never forget!

When I finally got over to her I had began to cool off, but I still wanted to make my point. When she saw that I had come over she looked TERRIFIED! She was driving with a man and a young boy (who was slightly obese). The man she was with looked happy to see me, and immediately scolded her, “I told you” he said. I started to think about how many times she must have done things like this, she must have had a lot of confidence that I wouldn’t retaliate, or defend myself… how many times had she got away with this, how long has this gone on before some stood up for themselves? One thing for sure was, I was going to stop it here… TODAY!
I asked her why she would taunt me like she did without knowing me, and all she could do was look away and fold her arms and say over and over “I’m sorry”. I felt like a teacher, having a “you need to be nice to others” talk with a grown woman… I knew I had to do something more, but what could I do? By that time a small crowd had surrounded us, and I felt that there wasn’t any way I could be happy about where this had gone without making sure she understood that what she did should never happen again… so I got mad. I got belligerent and I got in her face. I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but I completely got down to her level… screaming obscenities got the reaction I wanted, but it wasn’t until I looked over and saw the same look of fear on the young boy’s face that I cam back to my senses… I had made my point, literally loud and clear.
The boy was my reminder that I never needed to go there, I wasn’t there to hurt anyone… I was there to make a point that what this woman did was wrong. I made that point by just walking over to her and showing her that I was not afraid of her. I had made my point before I got mean… I turned in to the same person and I know that’s not who I reall am, so I stopped and tried to get it together for the sake of this child. I know this was also a lesson for him, and I needed to make sure it ended positively.
I stopped, regained my composure and calmly told her that she better think twice before she ever does anything like this again, because it’s NOT okay. I apologized for losing my temper, and thanked her for opening my eyes as well. We both learned a lesson in tolerance that day. I learned ignorace isn’t always bliss, but leading by example as opposed anger is the best stadegy for success. I’m proving to the world that us ”Plus Size Divas” have heart, we are beautiful and a positive attitude will ALWAYS prevail… class dismissed:)

ING NYC MARATHON BOUND!

ING NYC MARATHON BOUND!

CHOP CHOP SLICE! Goes My Finger...

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
I was on a roll… chopping away and completely dominating those veggies and the cutting board. Then all of a sudden I felt a jerk and I said ”Ouch” but there was no pain. I looked down and… OMGOODNESS! That was my finger!
Since I’m an optimist I chose to look at the following situation as:
1. Whew! Good thing my knife was sharp, it’s a clean cut.
2. Glad the kids are napping and didn’t see this.
3. Initiation for cooking 1o1 complete!

This week continued to get better, I received my new running shoes donated by Nike and ran with a new friend who pushed me further than I ever thought I could go at this point! I also got to stage (unpaid culinary internship) at a local natural and organic restaurant, Kate’s on 35th Ave. Kate’s has been around for about 25 years and is run and owned by Lynn Smith. Lynn is not a chef, but that doesn’t stop her from sharing her talents in the kitchen with the locals. I enjoyed this opportunity because the vibe was so different from the professional kitchens I had been in thus far. It’s not that it was better or I liked it more, it was just different. I learned many ways to conserve resources and run an Eco friendly cooking environment. This was great because I am definitely interested in how I can make my own home as “Green” as possible. I also learned several new health conscious recipes! I think the highlight was baking this amazing chocolate cake! (Look for the recipe below)

I am THRILLED to announce that I am officially member of TEAM FOR KIDS and I have started my fundraising efforts. Hopefully I can raise the minimum $2620.00 USD before Oct 8th! [click here to donate] It feels like it’s so far away, but I know that it will be here before I know it! I’m also excited to update you on sponsorship with the BornFit… They’ve agreed to donate running apparel for training and running events on my journey to NYC! I am so thankful to have so many amazing and inspiring women supporting me, Hybridmom.com included.

I’m watching SNL tonight with Betty White… Isn’t she inspiring? She put out in to the universe that she wanted to do the show, and TONIGHT! she’s living the dream! The song “Empire State of Mind” is being performed right now. I don’t listen to a lot of rap, but this song hits me so hard because NYC is where I found myself again. It was during the taping of Worst Cooks where I, came back to life. I remember looking over the city from this amazing pent house view being completely inspired by its grandeur. They say if you can make it there you can make it anywhere… and I can’t tell you how true that has proved to be! That’s why I’ve chosen the NYC Marathon… it reminds me of this extraordinary experience where I knew my life would change forever. I didn’t know how I would be changed until I got home… but I am different. I will never be the same. NYC is where Sophia, got her groove back!
PS!- check out my youtube page to see a short clip with a montage of my ”healthier me” progress leading up to now, and subscribe and stay tunned for cooking demos and videos documenting running events and training for NY!
Kate’s Chocolate Cake
15 servings
Cake Ingredients:
1/3 cup Grape Seed Oil
1 ¾ hot water
2 oz unsweetened baker’s chocolate
1 ½ cup organic unbleached white flour
½ cup organic whole wheat flour
½ cup brown sugar
1 cup natural sugar
½ cup organic apple juice
1 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup fat free yogurt or low fat butter cream
2 extra large eggs
1 tsp baking powder
Frosting Ingredients:
2 oz unsweetened baking chocolate
¼ cup of skim milk
1/3 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tsp of vanilla
1 cup powder sugar
Preparation and cooking instructions
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees and grease/flour bundt cake pan
In a bowl combine white flour, whole wheat flour, brown sugar and natural sugar and set aside. In another bowl combine chocolate, grape seed oil and hot water, then take these and microwave for no more than 1 minute and mix well until chocolate is dissolved. Then take hot mix and combine in to the bowl containing dry ingredients and mix well making sure there are no lumps. Next add apple juice, vanilla, fat free yogurt or butter milk, and eggs. Again mix well and then sprinkle baking soda and beat well using a wire whisk. Pour in to bundt cake pan and cook for approx 35-40 mins. (Cake is done when the batter is formed but still sticks slightly to the knife) Let cool for 10-15 mins before turning on to plate. Let rest another 5-10 minutes before applying frosting.
For the frosting take unsweetened baker’s chocolate and heat in microwave for no more than 1 min. Then add semi-sweet chocolate chips and stir until smooth. Add milk and vanilla and stir again till smooth. Last add powder sugar to taste (approx ¾ cup is where I like it) stir till smooth and then spread! The cake is supposed to be moist. It’s delicious! Just don’t expect the all the sugar you get in the average cake, remember it’s a healthier lower fat version… it’s CHEATING GOOD!

The Circle is Alnost Complete

As a child I went through some horrible experiences being overweight. That's why I am hoping to run the ING NYC Marathon for TEAM FOR KIDS! This charity provides free or low-cost school- and community-center based health and fitness programs to children who would most likely otherwise have no access to regular physical activity. I'm running to make sure kids have the opportunity to make an EDUCATED choice with their own nutrition and fitness habits, so that they can become healthy adults!
I've been working hard to earn money and sponsorship for the ING NYC Marathon trip, entry fees and to sign up for my charity Team for Kids. I found an AMAZING woman's sports apparel company called BornFit. ( BornFit.com) This is a company run by Mothers Lisa and Julie. During their motherhood they've discovered the need for quality (and stylish) clothing for active moms. They create products that not only made women look good, but also made them feel strong, confident and inspired. So, I contacted them in regards to sponsorship and we're working out the details. I can't wait to wear their gear. I love that they believe that all of us are BornFit.

"The beauty of being "Fit" is that it comes in all different sizes, shapes, interests and even passions. We founded BornFit on the solid belief that strong bodies produce a confident spirit which, as we all know, is sometimes challenged as a mother. But...with a confident spirit anything is possible! "- Julie and Lisa

When I read this, I knew they were the right company to support me on this journey! They are proven testimony that we can do it all while still being true to who we are first and foremost, Moms.


This week was the week my intro blog on hybridmom.com came out and it was also the week of an article in the Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_14952948 (The other person in the pic is my trainer, Jamie Atlas. You know why he's awesome? Jamie has donates his time to help me battle the bulge! I could have never gone this far without him.)
I'm about 1 month out now from my first race. It's a 10K called the Bolder Boulder, and I hear the incline of the run is KILLER! I hope I can make it with out walking. This race will give me my first look at where I am fitness wise. If I can make this run without walking I will be ahead of schedule. I want so badly to impress everyone, but I know that this run isn't about anyone but me.

All this awesomeness and I have no idea where to start with my Thank you's... my story just goes to show you that if you just try, you can make things happen. These kumbaya moments have been so great... but they also have brought pressure. I have announced my intentions to the world. By just asking, produced everything I need to succeed. I am scared. I know I'll complete this journey and I know that crossing that finish line in NYC will be like walking on air... I'm so excited it’s overwhelming sometimes. I have this giant cold sore, the first one I've ever had in my life! It's a reminder to slow down, follow my path and stick to it. I need to "keep my ducks in a row" as my Aunt Helen would say. I'm working on that, and I know that no matter what, I will rise to the occasion and prove that I can do anything... one step at a time. This unfit kid is making the circle complete... it's never too late to start the new you! I must remember that I'm doing this for me, and to show people out there that they're not a lone in feeling insecure, but I hope to show them by taking that first step, they can conquer world.

It's NOT About the Numbers!

All my life I've been told that being a "normal" or "a healthy size" was a number. At that point I felt a number on a scale and number in my pants that defined my image, the image that I not only owned but projected to the world. I would see myself in the mirror and immediately see my flaws, the things that set me aside from being normal... in the weight department I would have been thrilled to be considered average. Because of this stigma I bought in to the hype that I was fat. I had zero self confidence and wore the label of unworthy across my forehead every day.
Since I felt ugly I acted ugly. I was needy, shy and depressed on a daily basis. This made me the friend in all relationship situations. I had desperate crushes on several boys throughout the years and for some reason every one of them found me in the "friend zone". I always knew the reason was that I was fat, but I hoped to find one guy that could see pass the bulge and accept me for me. When I was rejected I chalked it up to them being shallow. It was always everyone else that put me in a category. There was nothing that I could do to change that, until...

In 92 I lost 60 lbs over a summer and changed my entire look! I was 125 lbs and a size 8! To this day, this is my peak... my all time best as far as those damn numbers go. I gained confidence in my new body as my classmates began to take notice of my transformation. I couldn't wait to show myself to my friends and especially my crushes! The response from everyone was great and it built my staggering confidence with a superficial shield, but unfortunately the boys never saw me in a different light. I was so confused; I didn't understand what it was about me that wasn't attractive.
As the years passed the numbers got bigger... slowly at first and by the time I was 22 I hit 200 lbs. I knew I had gained the weight but I didn't really see the change in my body. I had never had a flat tummy or thin physique so the chub just looked like it belonged there. To tell you the honest truth, lol I don't think I ever really tried to look at my body in the mirror. I didn't know what I looked like under my clothes. I steered clear of mirrors that were full length and if I happened to run in to one I'd be sure to ignore whatever I saw I didn't like.

Right around this time I found Eric. Eric was a boy that gave me a chance. Eric treated me like I had always wanted to be treated. He WANTED me... and no matter anything else about him... this is what I longed for. Eric was my first kiss, the first guy I held hands with... my first REAL date! So needless to say I was in love and our courtship was short. We married in Vegas in one of those tacky little chapels September 23rd 2010 after almost a year of dating. And yes, on my wedding night he was my first of something else... hehe ;)

So add a super low self esteem, my Scorpio jealousy and some financial stress on that love and you get me 6 years later and over 60 lbs bigger. I was cranky, sad and without friends. I hid behind my duties of being a mother and rarely left the house. I got to the point where my social interactions with adults were rarely successful and usually embarrassing messes of diarrhea of the mouth. So, I turned to the place where I always comforted and accepted. The one thing in my life that never let me down and never said I wasn't good enough... FOOD!

I didn't cook, but I could reheat with the best of them. I ate fast/boxed food on regular basis, and so did my family. I finally hit a wall one day while arguing with my 3 year old to eat her chicken nuggets. It was time for a change... I needed to get some skills first but I had no idea where to turn. Then came Worst Cooks, and it cleared the cobwebs and dust from my ego and the seeds of sincere and humble confidence were planted. I was ready for success in whatever form that may be.

So if you're reading this, you know about my most recent success in the weight loss department... drum roll please... 52 lbs down and counting! This weight loss has come from hard work and mental stamina. It has NOT been easy, but it has been truly satisfying. You also should be aware of my intent and training for the ING NC Marathon! The marathon will be the next step in my build of confidence and my new healthy lifestyle change. I'm excited to get even more focused on nutrition and learning how my body works.
This is my thought on body/image/self acceptance now...
Today numbers are far less important to me than they once were. I use the scale to document my progress but it doesn’t rule my life. My pant size is the guide to purchasing clothes and although I like to see a number that is small enough to shop in any store I have learned to just deal with it... and I think that's a key.
As time has passed in my own relationship I have learned so much about love and people. The ingredient I had been missing in my youth was self love! When I walked in to a room back then, I'd almost have a panic attack. I was ashamed of who I was, even as the thinner me I still felt deep inside that I was the fugly girl. Who wants to be around a person that has that much baggage!? I also saw that there are PLENTY of plus size women out there that have found love. That was proof to me that my weight was not the problem.
There was also a time in my life that I would cringe at the thought of shopping in a Lane Bryant or when called "Plus Size". I didn't want to accept who I was. I realize now that I don't have to own any labels; I just have to own my authenticity. I'm not concerned with anything but getting to a place where I feel healthy. I want to be able to do any physical activity with ease. I want to be able to keep up with my kids. I want to make the healthy choice without thinking and be the best me that I can be.
Finally I'd just like to urge the "un-average" folks out there to accept who you are! You don't have to be loud and proud (and you can be if you want to) but get up in front of a mirror and look at what you're working with. See that body and if you want to change, change it... if you like it! Celebrate! Do it every day that you forget why you love who you are... or what you are working for. I'm not about pro plus or pro skinny; I'm about pro you, and whoever you want to be. I support you and your decision to love yourself. The more you accept you, the easier it gets to be happy in the skin you're in!

Let's start at the beginning... A look at my new blog... a little better organized:)

 Hello!!  If we haven't met, my name is Sophia Ayala Gettys! I'm a stay at home mother of 2 living in Colorado. My claim to "fame" if you will... ha ha... is that I am overweight and can't cook. In Jan, the Food Network aired it's first season of a new cooking competition series called "Worst Cooks in America". Unfortunately... and fortunately I was chosen out of thousands of hopefuls across the nation as one of the "Worst Cooks" I didn't win the 25000 dollar prize, but I did win. What I won was my life back! Being on a reality show isn't just about the time you're on camera it's about the time you're away from your family, the learning your limits in stressful situations... This opportunity changed my life forever! Not only do I now love to cook, I am currently pursuing a carrer in the culinary arts! I hope to be a chef one day, but for now I'm an AMAZING home cook!

While filming the show, there was a day on set that chef Beau and I had a casual chat... He asked me what I did. I told him that I was stay at home Mom... and then he said, "No, what do you do?". I told him that I was an artist. He told me that he was too... I never saw a cook as an artist until that day. As I watched him demo how to do our duck dish, it hit me all at once! The plate was his canvas, the food was the medium... then I realized that all 5 senses were used in cooking and it's like the ULTIMATE ART!

Once I realized this, it made me think back to a chat with my late Aunt Helen. My Aunt Helen had always been a driving force in my life to be a strong and ambitious woman. I've always been in to the arts and she'd always been my biggest cheerleader. All my life I had heard that we were so much alike and that made our bond very strong. Helen had made her life earnings in the food industry, with her amazingly delicious home made pasta! She did well with her pasta, it made her a self made millionaire. I didn't realize it at the time, but her pasta was her art! I remember her looking over my paintings and thinking that her critiques were just her being nice and encouraging... but now I know that it wasn't just encouragement! The woman knew what she was talking about. I wish that I would have made this connection before she passed away. If she could see me now, I know that she would be so proud!

So I've been fabulously lucky to have an amazing experience of finding myself on a reality show, and it's started a few balls rolling in my life and inspired a health kick!

When I got home from the show I started cooking, and with that alone, the lbs started to come off... but what really made the pounds fall off was my GOD SENT TRAINER Jamie Atlas in Sept. 2009! I made a plea to a local trainer to help lose weight as a charity project on his part and I started cooking everything I loved in a healthier way! I have been working out regularly and even have begun making my own recipes! I've lost 50 lbs in about 6 months and am feeling great! I was even on a local morning talk show in channel 2 (The Deuce) "The Everyday Show". It was a blast.

Yes folks, life has been good to me these days. I feel more alive than I have in a long time! As a parent (especially a stay at home mom) I don't think we get the right amount of social interaction with other adults at times... or maybe just those precious moments of getting out there and doing something for ourselves. I have began to make that a priority in my life, and I know everyday I make the right choice because my children see a stronger Mom that they can look up to. I'm definitely far from perfect, but I'm trying to be the best me I can be.

In lieu of all these adventures and new goals I have decided to take control even further! I'm just at a place where I need to do something BIG to show myself ! So I've decided to do something INSANE! I'm 29 and in Nov I will be 30, so I've got to do something that is just going to blow my mind if I accomplish it. With my new outlook on healthy eating, cooking, and fitness I have decided to do something that will compliment each of these points... and what I plan to do is... (drum roll please!) enter the.... (keep the drums coming) ING NYC MARATHON!

I know right! OMG, WTF am I thinking? Well here it is, I'm going to be 30, and I'm married, I've had my kids and I'm ready to be the me that I know that I can be. I've spent my whole life thinking things are too hard or I'm not good enough, or I don't deserve things... that girl is gone! NO MORE CRYING IN MY CHEERIOS and complaining about things I have the power to fix. I've been able to come this far, and I'm ready to take it to the next level. I will be the role model to my children that I want to be and I will be the wife I know I am... and I will be the CHANGE that I hope to make.
I will run this race for the experience, not to win... but for the opportunity to support an amazing charity and I will do it for myself. The mental fitness as well as physical fitness I will need to accomplish this will be invaluable to my life and future successes. If I can do this, I can do anything! The charity I have chosen to run for is TEAM FOR KIDS.

Team for Kids is made up of thousands of adult runners from around the world who raise funds to combat childhood obesity through New York Road Runners Youth Programs .

As a obese child and now adult I feel learning early on about health and fitness can change lives! Like I said, I want to be the change.

STAGE, DANCE, SCHOOL, HEALTH, CAREER! FEBRUARY! OH MY!

WOW
That's the word for this month! It's been a complete rollercoaster of emotions and events since I last posted. I have no idea where to start... so let's go in the order I put them in the title, HA!
How did the stage go?

Well, I have to say, I felt like I was ready for this venture but as the weeks went on I found out that I was not as ready as I hoped. There were bumps in the road. I took this as an experience. Initially I was looking for this to become a job opportunity... but unfortunately it didn't end up that way. There were a few times when I felt like I was completely out of place and that I didn't belong, but I had to remind myself that I was there first and foremost to LEARN. With learning of the most import I can say that the time spent was successful. I hope that I didn't make too big a fool of myself and I am so thankful to have been able to literally live the life of a cook!

I know what I want and I know who I am. If I keep to what I know, in time people will know my worth. Plus, when I think about it:) Julia Child wasn't taken seriously at the start of her career. Julia had to learn and as she did, she became better and better, as will I ! I have learned that I can't care what others think of me, I have no time to waist on trivial thoughts like that.

I know now more than ever the love, passion and drive that these professionals MUST posses to be successful at their jobs. These people live for their work, and I hope that others realize this... I never did until I began to cook for myself. The price you pay for your meal is miniscule in comparison to the effort that was put in to complete it.

Restaurant Home's entire staff both house and kitchen are of the highest quality... in both professionalism and character.





Next is DANCE... This is all about my daughter! Gabriella aka Bean aka Lala aka Ella has started dance lessons! Look at my Ballerina!

And SCHOOL... well first of all I'm behind and second... I am able to graduate at the end of the semester as long as I get at least C's in all my classes... and then last week I get the letter that if I maintain my 3.5 GPA (which means I must pass my classes with a B or better) I will be able be in the honor society! I am floored, because this Associates degree will be 10 years in the making and I haven't had academic accolades since I was in JR HIGH! I have to pull it together and make this happen!
HEALTH... well I don't really want to talk about it. I haven't been working out like I should and I am eating badly. Well I'm eating GOOD:) but lots of rich foods and too big of portions. I've gained 4 lbs back. I need to again GET IT TOGETHER! But along with my health comes Gabe's. Gabe has had some GI issues and we still don't know what's wrong. He's had a colonoscopy, endoscopy and biopsy this last month and we're still scratching out heads.

Now to top it all off I found out he has Croup. My poor puppy dog.

Career is the thing that's just eating me alive. I know I want to cook. I know I want to one day be considered a chef... but how am I going to get there. Most of the people my age are already well on their way to becoming chefs if they aren't already there. I started late and it's hard to imagine how long it's going to take to work my way up... and I am all for hard work. I'm not afraid to wash dishes and pay my dues in any way I am asked... but I am a mother. The restaurant industry needs you every day, it needs your complete attention and if you're going to live the life of a chef or a cook you have to be dedicated. If you're not, you won't last. You don't call in sick; you don't take the day off to care for sick babies or dance class or soccer games. If I was to completely dedicate myself... I won't ever see my babies. I don't know if I could live with myself if I miss these precious moments. I think if Gabe and Lala were school aged, it'd be much easier to be able to dedicate the time needed, but they're still little. Especially Gabe! How can I choose myself over my children?

So what I have to do is find the job in the culinary arts that deals with food, but will allow me to have a more flexible schedule. I don't know what that job is yet, but I know for sure I want to look in to something that deals with nutrition and health. Maybe a dietician... or a recreational cooking instructor…

For now I am going to focus on learning. I will get in to any kitchen and work as much as I can. There's something out there for me, I know it... I just have to find my niche and pay my dues. I will leave you with some pics of a dinner I prepared.  While I staged I was intimidated by a few things so I made sure I practiced at home in case I was asked to jump in! I wanted to know I was prepared to tackle any task!