It was a hot summer day about 2 years ago… I was putting away my groceries in a supermarket parking lot minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear the voice of a woman yell out, “Lose some weight!” At first I didn’t know for sure if I had heard her right… I couldn’t stop trying to analyze it in my head. It wasn’t until my sister told me that she usually ignores “those kinds of taunts” that I realized that I was the target. I was immediately overcome with rage… how could this person, who knows nothing about me have the audacity to ridicule me in public? Without thinking I watched where she parked and began to walk over. The only things running through my mind were the obscenities I wanted to call her. I wanted to make sure that before she opened her mouth again like this… she would think long and hard… this “big girl” was ready to give this bully the opportunity to feel the full force of her 200-some odd lbs, his woman was about to get a lesson she’d never forget!
When I finally got over to her I had began to cool off, but I still wanted to make my point. When she saw that I had come over she looked TERRIFIED! She was driving with a man and a young boy (who was slightly obese). The man she was with looked happy to see me, and immediately scolded her, “I told you” he said. I started to think about how many times she must have done things like this, she must have had a lot of confidence that I wouldn’t retaliate, or defend myself… how many times had she got away with this, how long has this gone on before some stood up for themselves? One thing for sure was, I was going to stop it here… TODAY!
I asked her why she would taunt me like she did without knowing me, and all she could do was look away and fold her arms and say over and over “I’m sorry”. I felt like a teacher, having a “you need to be nice to others” talk with a grown woman… I knew I had to do something more, but what could I do? By that time a small crowd had surrounded us, and I felt that there wasn’t any way I could be happy about where this had gone without making sure she understood that what she did should never happen again… so I got mad. I got belligerent and I got in her face. I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but I completely got down to her level… screaming obscenities got the reaction I wanted, but it wasn’t until I looked over and saw the same look of fear on the young boy’s face that I cam back to my senses… I had made my point, literally loud and clear.
The boy was my reminder that I never needed to go there, I wasn’t there to hurt anyone… I was there to make a point that what this woman did was wrong. I made that point by just walking over to her and showing her that I was not afraid of her. I had made my point before I got mean… I turned in to the same person and I know that’s not who I reall am, so I stopped and tried to get it together for the sake of this child. I know this was also a lesson for him, and I needed to make sure it ended positively.
I stopped, regained my composure and calmly told her that she better think twice before she ever does anything like this again, because it’s NOT okay. I apologized for losing my temper, and thanked her for opening my eyes as well. We both learned a lesson in tolerance that day. I learned ignorace isn’t always bliss, but leading by example as opposed anger is the best stadegy for success. I’m proving to the world that us ”Plus Size Divas” have heart, we are beautiful and a positive attitude will ALWAYS prevail… class dismissed:)
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