It's NOT About the Numbers!

All my life I've been told that being a "normal" or "a healthy size" was a number. At that point I felt a number on a scale and number in my pants that defined my image, the image that I not only owned but projected to the world. I would see myself in the mirror and immediately see my flaws, the things that set me aside from being normal... in the weight department I would have been thrilled to be considered average. Because of this stigma I bought in to the hype that I was fat. I had zero self confidence and wore the label of unworthy across my forehead every day.
Since I felt ugly I acted ugly. I was needy, shy and depressed on a daily basis. This made me the friend in all relationship situations. I had desperate crushes on several boys throughout the years and for some reason every one of them found me in the "friend zone". I always knew the reason was that I was fat, but I hoped to find one guy that could see pass the bulge and accept me for me. When I was rejected I chalked it up to them being shallow. It was always everyone else that put me in a category. There was nothing that I could do to change that, until...

In 92 I lost 60 lbs over a summer and changed my entire look! I was 125 lbs and a size 8! To this day, this is my peak... my all time best as far as those damn numbers go. I gained confidence in my new body as my classmates began to take notice of my transformation. I couldn't wait to show myself to my friends and especially my crushes! The response from everyone was great and it built my staggering confidence with a superficial shield, but unfortunately the boys never saw me in a different light. I was so confused; I didn't understand what it was about me that wasn't attractive.
As the years passed the numbers got bigger... slowly at first and by the time I was 22 I hit 200 lbs. I knew I had gained the weight but I didn't really see the change in my body. I had never had a flat tummy or thin physique so the chub just looked like it belonged there. To tell you the honest truth, lol I don't think I ever really tried to look at my body in the mirror. I didn't know what I looked like under my clothes. I steered clear of mirrors that were full length and if I happened to run in to one I'd be sure to ignore whatever I saw I didn't like.

Right around this time I found Eric. Eric was a boy that gave me a chance. Eric treated me like I had always wanted to be treated. He WANTED me... and no matter anything else about him... this is what I longed for. Eric was my first kiss, the first guy I held hands with... my first REAL date! So needless to say I was in love and our courtship was short. We married in Vegas in one of those tacky little chapels September 23rd 2010 after almost a year of dating. And yes, on my wedding night he was my first of something else... hehe ;)

So add a super low self esteem, my Scorpio jealousy and some financial stress on that love and you get me 6 years later and over 60 lbs bigger. I was cranky, sad and without friends. I hid behind my duties of being a mother and rarely left the house. I got to the point where my social interactions with adults were rarely successful and usually embarrassing messes of diarrhea of the mouth. So, I turned to the place where I always comforted and accepted. The one thing in my life that never let me down and never said I wasn't good enough... FOOD!

I didn't cook, but I could reheat with the best of them. I ate fast/boxed food on regular basis, and so did my family. I finally hit a wall one day while arguing with my 3 year old to eat her chicken nuggets. It was time for a change... I needed to get some skills first but I had no idea where to turn. Then came Worst Cooks, and it cleared the cobwebs and dust from my ego and the seeds of sincere and humble confidence were planted. I was ready for success in whatever form that may be.

So if you're reading this, you know about my most recent success in the weight loss department... drum roll please... 52 lbs down and counting! This weight loss has come from hard work and mental stamina. It has NOT been easy, but it has been truly satisfying. You also should be aware of my intent and training for the ING NC Marathon! The marathon will be the next step in my build of confidence and my new healthy lifestyle change. I'm excited to get even more focused on nutrition and learning how my body works.
This is my thought on body/image/self acceptance now...
Today numbers are far less important to me than they once were. I use the scale to document my progress but it doesn’t rule my life. My pant size is the guide to purchasing clothes and although I like to see a number that is small enough to shop in any store I have learned to just deal with it... and I think that's a key.
As time has passed in my own relationship I have learned so much about love and people. The ingredient I had been missing in my youth was self love! When I walked in to a room back then, I'd almost have a panic attack. I was ashamed of who I was, even as the thinner me I still felt deep inside that I was the fugly girl. Who wants to be around a person that has that much baggage!? I also saw that there are PLENTY of plus size women out there that have found love. That was proof to me that my weight was not the problem.
There was also a time in my life that I would cringe at the thought of shopping in a Lane Bryant or when called "Plus Size". I didn't want to accept who I was. I realize now that I don't have to own any labels; I just have to own my authenticity. I'm not concerned with anything but getting to a place where I feel healthy. I want to be able to do any physical activity with ease. I want to be able to keep up with my kids. I want to make the healthy choice without thinking and be the best me that I can be.
Finally I'd just like to urge the "un-average" folks out there to accept who you are! You don't have to be loud and proud (and you can be if you want to) but get up in front of a mirror and look at what you're working with. See that body and if you want to change, change it... if you like it! Celebrate! Do it every day that you forget why you love who you are... or what you are working for. I'm not about pro plus or pro skinny; I'm about pro you, and whoever you want to be. I support you and your decision to love yourself. The more you accept you, the easier it gets to be happy in the skin you're in!

Let's start at the beginning... A look at my new blog... a little better organized:)

 Hello!!  If we haven't met, my name is Sophia Ayala Gettys! I'm a stay at home mother of 2 living in Colorado. My claim to "fame" if you will... ha ha... is that I am overweight and can't cook. In Jan, the Food Network aired it's first season of a new cooking competition series called "Worst Cooks in America". Unfortunately... and fortunately I was chosen out of thousands of hopefuls across the nation as one of the "Worst Cooks" I didn't win the 25000 dollar prize, but I did win. What I won was my life back! Being on a reality show isn't just about the time you're on camera it's about the time you're away from your family, the learning your limits in stressful situations... This opportunity changed my life forever! Not only do I now love to cook, I am currently pursuing a carrer in the culinary arts! I hope to be a chef one day, but for now I'm an AMAZING home cook!

While filming the show, there was a day on set that chef Beau and I had a casual chat... He asked me what I did. I told him that I was stay at home Mom... and then he said, "No, what do you do?". I told him that I was an artist. He told me that he was too... I never saw a cook as an artist until that day. As I watched him demo how to do our duck dish, it hit me all at once! The plate was his canvas, the food was the medium... then I realized that all 5 senses were used in cooking and it's like the ULTIMATE ART!

Once I realized this, it made me think back to a chat with my late Aunt Helen. My Aunt Helen had always been a driving force in my life to be a strong and ambitious woman. I've always been in to the arts and she'd always been my biggest cheerleader. All my life I had heard that we were so much alike and that made our bond very strong. Helen had made her life earnings in the food industry, with her amazingly delicious home made pasta! She did well with her pasta, it made her a self made millionaire. I didn't realize it at the time, but her pasta was her art! I remember her looking over my paintings and thinking that her critiques were just her being nice and encouraging... but now I know that it wasn't just encouragement! The woman knew what she was talking about. I wish that I would have made this connection before she passed away. If she could see me now, I know that she would be so proud!

So I've been fabulously lucky to have an amazing experience of finding myself on a reality show, and it's started a few balls rolling in my life and inspired a health kick!

When I got home from the show I started cooking, and with that alone, the lbs started to come off... but what really made the pounds fall off was my GOD SENT TRAINER Jamie Atlas in Sept. 2009! I made a plea to a local trainer to help lose weight as a charity project on his part and I started cooking everything I loved in a healthier way! I have been working out regularly and even have begun making my own recipes! I've lost 50 lbs in about 6 months and am feeling great! I was even on a local morning talk show in channel 2 (The Deuce) "The Everyday Show". It was a blast.

Yes folks, life has been good to me these days. I feel more alive than I have in a long time! As a parent (especially a stay at home mom) I don't think we get the right amount of social interaction with other adults at times... or maybe just those precious moments of getting out there and doing something for ourselves. I have began to make that a priority in my life, and I know everyday I make the right choice because my children see a stronger Mom that they can look up to. I'm definitely far from perfect, but I'm trying to be the best me I can be.

In lieu of all these adventures and new goals I have decided to take control even further! I'm just at a place where I need to do something BIG to show myself ! So I've decided to do something INSANE! I'm 29 and in Nov I will be 30, so I've got to do something that is just going to blow my mind if I accomplish it. With my new outlook on healthy eating, cooking, and fitness I have decided to do something that will compliment each of these points... and what I plan to do is... (drum roll please!) enter the.... (keep the drums coming) ING NYC MARATHON!

I know right! OMG, WTF am I thinking? Well here it is, I'm going to be 30, and I'm married, I've had my kids and I'm ready to be the me that I know that I can be. I've spent my whole life thinking things are too hard or I'm not good enough, or I don't deserve things... that girl is gone! NO MORE CRYING IN MY CHEERIOS and complaining about things I have the power to fix. I've been able to come this far, and I'm ready to take it to the next level. I will be the role model to my children that I want to be and I will be the wife I know I am... and I will be the CHANGE that I hope to make.
I will run this race for the experience, not to win... but for the opportunity to support an amazing charity and I will do it for myself. The mental fitness as well as physical fitness I will need to accomplish this will be invaluable to my life and future successes. If I can do this, I can do anything! The charity I have chosen to run for is TEAM FOR KIDS.

Team for Kids is made up of thousands of adult runners from around the world who raise funds to combat childhood obesity through New York Road Runners Youth Programs .

As a obese child and now adult I feel learning early on about health and fitness can change lives! Like I said, I want to be the change.

STAGE, DANCE, SCHOOL, HEALTH, CAREER! FEBRUARY! OH MY!

WOW
That's the word for this month! It's been a complete rollercoaster of emotions and events since I last posted. I have no idea where to start... so let's go in the order I put them in the title, HA!
How did the stage go?

Well, I have to say, I felt like I was ready for this venture but as the weeks went on I found out that I was not as ready as I hoped. There were bumps in the road. I took this as an experience. Initially I was looking for this to become a job opportunity... but unfortunately it didn't end up that way. There were a few times when I felt like I was completely out of place and that I didn't belong, but I had to remind myself that I was there first and foremost to LEARN. With learning of the most import I can say that the time spent was successful. I hope that I didn't make too big a fool of myself and I am so thankful to have been able to literally live the life of a cook!

I know what I want and I know who I am. If I keep to what I know, in time people will know my worth. Plus, when I think about it:) Julia Child wasn't taken seriously at the start of her career. Julia had to learn and as she did, she became better and better, as will I ! I have learned that I can't care what others think of me, I have no time to waist on trivial thoughts like that.

I know now more than ever the love, passion and drive that these professionals MUST posses to be successful at their jobs. These people live for their work, and I hope that others realize this... I never did until I began to cook for myself. The price you pay for your meal is miniscule in comparison to the effort that was put in to complete it.

Restaurant Home's entire staff both house and kitchen are of the highest quality... in both professionalism and character.





Next is DANCE... This is all about my daughter! Gabriella aka Bean aka Lala aka Ella has started dance lessons! Look at my Ballerina!

And SCHOOL... well first of all I'm behind and second... I am able to graduate at the end of the semester as long as I get at least C's in all my classes... and then last week I get the letter that if I maintain my 3.5 GPA (which means I must pass my classes with a B or better) I will be able be in the honor society! I am floored, because this Associates degree will be 10 years in the making and I haven't had academic accolades since I was in JR HIGH! I have to pull it together and make this happen!
HEALTH... well I don't really want to talk about it. I haven't been working out like I should and I am eating badly. Well I'm eating GOOD:) but lots of rich foods and too big of portions. I've gained 4 lbs back. I need to again GET IT TOGETHER! But along with my health comes Gabe's. Gabe has had some GI issues and we still don't know what's wrong. He's had a colonoscopy, endoscopy and biopsy this last month and we're still scratching out heads.

Now to top it all off I found out he has Croup. My poor puppy dog.

Career is the thing that's just eating me alive. I know I want to cook. I know I want to one day be considered a chef... but how am I going to get there. Most of the people my age are already well on their way to becoming chefs if they aren't already there. I started late and it's hard to imagine how long it's going to take to work my way up... and I am all for hard work. I'm not afraid to wash dishes and pay my dues in any way I am asked... but I am a mother. The restaurant industry needs you every day, it needs your complete attention and if you're going to live the life of a chef or a cook you have to be dedicated. If you're not, you won't last. You don't call in sick; you don't take the day off to care for sick babies or dance class or soccer games. If I was to completely dedicate myself... I won't ever see my babies. I don't know if I could live with myself if I miss these precious moments. I think if Gabe and Lala were school aged, it'd be much easier to be able to dedicate the time needed, but they're still little. Especially Gabe! How can I choose myself over my children?

So what I have to do is find the job in the culinary arts that deals with food, but will allow me to have a more flexible schedule. I don't know what that job is yet, but I know for sure I want to look in to something that deals with nutrition and health. Maybe a dietician... or a recreational cooking instructor…

For now I am going to focus on learning. I will get in to any kitchen and work as much as I can. There's something out there for me, I know it... I just have to find my niche and pay my dues. I will leave you with some pics of a dinner I prepared.  While I staged I was intimidated by a few things so I made sure I practiced at home in case I was asked to jump in! I wanted to know I was prepared to tackle any task!

A COMPLETELY NEW RELATIONSHIP... WITH FOOD

Hello Hello!

I just finished watching Jacques P :) on PBS, and he is just adorable! He took us on a trip to a fishery where trout are farmed. It was very interesting to see how thankful and respectful he was to the fishery employees. He spoke at the end of the show how the people that produce the foods that we cook should be as highly respected and applauded as the chefs and cooks that prepare it. I really liked that perspective. I think we should most definitely be mindful to where our food is coming from. I love the idea of home farms and growing herbs in window sills.

I wish that could buy a big piece of land and have a little old school cottage. I want a a cute little kitchen and a loft that you climb with a ladder... I'd love to have horses, cows, goats and chickens... I wouldn't eat my animals, just love them hehe. I'd grow all my own veggies and just live as much from the earth as possible. I think it'd be awesome to be close to a city so that it wasn't too far out of the way, but still somewhat hidden. That would be so cool.

ANYWAYS! Okay… back to reality :)

I am just really in love with the idea of appreciating where the foods we eat come from, and the love that is put in to them as they are grown... and the love and beauty they hold as they arrive on our plates. I think is something so important in my weight loss. I have learned to look at my food, look at the colors and different ingredients that are there so that I can first taste each one, and then put them all together to get the full effect!

For example;

I had a pasta dish at a local Italian Rest. the other night.

In it was:

Artichoke hearts

Capers

Red Bell Pepper

Olive Oil

Shrimp

I think a little white wine vinegar

on a bed of Angel Hair Pasta

I first tasted the Artichoke, then a caper, then a bell pepper, then a buttery shrimp and some delicious homemade pasta! MMMMM! I wanted to know what I was eating, then what each flavor brought to the mean, next I wanted to put a little of everything on my fork and try to taste all those flavors at once! It's amazing how some flavors are so INTESIFIED by others. I LOVE IT! Actually TASTING helps me to slow down and enjoy my meal. I'm not always as in a hurry to shovel my food in to my mouth, I can look at it, and taste it, feel the textures and smell the aromas, see the colors... the only thing missing is hearing it come together on the stove... then the plating presentation! OMG its 5D art!

When we auditioned for Worst Cooks, one of my metaphors for what kind of a foodie I was is from the Disney film “Ratatouille”. I saw myself as the "plump" brother, the one that just stuffed the food in his mouth without tasting it, or even caring what it was. I can now say that I have changed that bad habit, and I enjoy the complete dining experience.

XOXO

Sophia Ayala Gettys

REDEMPTION TASTES MUCH SWEETER THAN 25,000

It's NOT over yet for me, and YOU can help me with my REDEMPTION!

Hey all of you fabulous people!

If you saw this week's show you know that I was eliminated:( I was devasted when Chef Beau traded me, and then I just fell apart on Chef Anne's team. It was so hard to re-live that moment... but that moment made me who I am today! So I'm thankful for every second of it!

I know that at one point of another I've asked most of you in advance to help me spread word of things so that I could gain as much momentum as possible for a future with the Food Network. This is the time to do that, we need to "strike while the iron is hot" as they say. Since the show I have worked hard on learning to cook and revamp my lifestyle! I have learned to become a pretty good home cook and I have ALSO LOST 40 LBs by eating healthy home cooked meals and working out with local Denver trainer Jamie Atlas!

I'm going to start staging (working as an unpaid intern/I look at it as free school:) at the end of the month with Denver's 09 Top Chef Alex Seildel at Fruiton and also at OVEN! OVEN is owned by Chef Beau's good friend! He's set that up for me, and I can't wait to get in these kitchens and just SOAK UP THE GREATNESS!

So what I'm asking is for you to do is:
Please cut and paste the letter below to a FB message and email and then mass fwd it to everyone you know!

I want to reach out to as many people as I can! I appreciate every single one of you for your time and I hope that you will be able to help, no matter how big or small the contribution, ANYTHING will be awesome. Thanks so much for being a part of my page and for cheering me on, this expirience has truely been life changing... and I plan to live and BE that change:)

XOXO
Sophia Ayala Gettys
Here's the letter to cut and paste, it goes from "Hi!" all the way to "Thanks for your support":

-------------------------------------------------------

Hi!

So just wanted to let you know my friend Sophia Ayala Gettys is on the new series called Worst Cooks in America on the Food Network! Sophia wants to continue cooking and working with the network, and in order to do that she must prove her popularity with viewers. SO... we're starting a Letter Campaign. All you have to do is click on this link
http://www.foodnetwork.com/contact-us/package/index.html
and write a little message about how'd you like to see more of her.
example:

Dear FN,

I really like Sophia on Worst Cooks, and I hear she's lost a lot of weight since the show and working in restaurants? Is this true? I want an update and would love to see more of her in the future.

How about a reunion show?

Thanks
Your Name
Here are some clips of Sophia here
Check out her youtube Video Diary, she's lost 40lbs!
http://youtube.com/user/sophiagettys
You can friend her on youtube, myspace, facebook and twitter too!
Sophia and I both THANK YOU for your support!
PLEASE FWD TO ANYONE YOU KNOW THAT WOULD BE INTERESTED IN HELPING TO SPREAD THE WORD!

The Best Me I Can Be and LIVING THE CHANGE to BE THE CHANGE!

First I want to THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH for your support and kind words!! I am touched it warms my heart to know you all care and enjoyed the show! It was so much fun, and I am totally bitten by the culinary bug!
I have a pretty hefty favor to ask of you all. I am really interested in continuing a relationship with the Food Network, and as we all know to do that they have to like me... and YOU the public has to like me.
So what I ask from you all, is your help with a email campaign! I will post the link to a page where you can leave the network your feedback. When you write them I would love it, if you would PLEASE tell them that you would like to see more of me:)
Here's the link to write in!
http://www.foodnetwork.com/contact-us/package/index.html
I have pitched 8 spin off series to the network, (per scripps request to have first dibs on my ideas) and I think with the knowledge that people would like to see more, they will be more apt to look in to my submissions.
Since the show I have been working hard to gain as much culinary expirience as possible! I wasn't able to talk about the expirience so it was hard get in to the professional kitchens till recently:) But what I have done is work from home! I have been revamping ALL of my favorite recipies in to more healthier versions for me and the family! From enchiladas to chicken and dumplins! As of yet they are healthier but not as lean as I can probably get them. That's where continued learning and expirience will come in to play!
With all this homecooking I've done well with weight loss! I started off slow and then began working with trainer Jamie Atlas in the fall... this combination of eating healthy and working out has lead to 40 lbs of weight loss! I can't tell you how shocked I am with how well I've done! haha... I was seriously to the point of a gastric bypass or lapband surgery... and it all turned around when I just gave it that last try.

I can't wait to perfect my methods and to pass all my knowledge on, I never thought I would be encouraging others get healthy but I am! I'm not trying to get to a certain size or weight, I'm just trying to get healthy and feel good in my own skin. For the first time in a LONG time I feel good about who I am. It's all because of this show. This life changing opportunity that has been my catalys to be the best version of me that I can be!
I want to work in the culinary and fitness industries and help others succeed as I have! So if I'm living the change, I'll BE the change!

Thanks again so much for your support!
Sincerely,

Sophia Ayala Gettys

SophiaAyalaGettys@gmail.com

Why Culinary school?

Hey all! Well I know some of you are wondering where this all came from and some might not care... but I want talk a little about what is and has been going on in my head.
Why Culinary school?
I cannot tell you what went on in my head during the my time on Worst Cooks in America because if I talk about what I was feeling, it could reveal things that are off limits right now. I can't talk about things because I signed a $750,000 non disclosure agreement that I am terrified to break! lol So, my close friends... like you Sophie cold never understand where I am in my life right now. I've had a ton of time to process what I went through and I'm still doing that. Now that the show is about to come out all kinds of pent up and almost forgotten feelings are coming back. It's been intense and scary to think about what is going to be shown. I am about to be judged by every person that sees the show and I’m preparing for that. There are already people that don't like me, and I have to tell you... I don't care:) Where I was while filming the show is a whole other story:) This experience not only taught me culinary skills, it pushed me to my limits mentally and emotionally. I am a stronger person because of it. I am definitely a different person because of it.
All my life I've kind of liked that I didn't know how to cook. I never had to cook and I thought I was getting away with something. But, as time passed I started gaining weight and I was realizing all the bad habits I was passing to Lala and Gabe. That is when I realized that I needed to do something. So when I saw the posting for auditions on craigslist I thought... ha, that could work. And that's it. I went in for 2 in person auditions and then a few months later BAM, you're going to NY to learn to cook! Haha, I was like WOW, what the hell am I getting myself in to! I arrived in NYC and got in a cab, and as I went through the city couldn't believe that this was really happening. People don't get to do things like this, even people that LIVE to cook don't get to go to NYC and get to train with some of the top chefs in the nation. Right then is when I knew this was going to change my life.
When the show started I wanted to be the best. I am super competitive, but after a while I realized this show wasn't about that... haha because nobody was the best! So it was really hard for me to get over that. When I got home, I was like... OMG, did this really happen? I started regreting so many things, and wishing that I could do it all over again.
Once I got home and started cooking, it was like a fire was lit inside me. Food tasted different, haha or maybe I should say I actually tasted it! I wasn't eating because I was bored or because I had a bad day, I was eating because I wanted to experience the flavors and smells and practice my cuts and keep all that I learned fresh in my head! I had a new relationship with food! I couldn't get enough of it. I am to the point where I can't wait for 3pm, because I want to get started! I stated using fresh herbs and experimenting, it was so much fun!
Then I started losing weight. This was insane to me. I was actually doing what I said I wanted to do! So I went in to see my Dr and talked about calories and what I could do to get healthier. Then I met Jamie in Sept and started working out! From there it just was like a title wave! 34 lbs later I like how I feel and how I've got here. I don't want it to ever end. This is my life now, I love to cook. I also really want to help other people see that cooking can be easy.
I am an artist first and foremost! I love to act, and I LOVE to write, paint, sculpt and draw. I don't care what my canvas is, I don't care what my tools are, or what medium I have to work with, I love it all. I have passion for creation and expression. I think that's also why this career makes so much sense to me.
Finally, there is a personal reason why I want to pursue this as a career... and that's because of my Aunt Helen Hostettler. Helen was my friend, confidant, and teacher. All my life I have been compared to her, and told that I remind people of her. We're both sassy, ambitious and lovers of art. When I was little, Helen gave my parents money for me to go to art class, she saw a drawing I made as a kid and wanted me to stick with it. I didn't until years later when I moved to CA. When I got there she encouraged me to get back in to it and I started to, slowly. I remember her critiques, she really looked at them and gave me feedback.
I laugh now, because at that time I didn't realize that she knew what she was talking about. I never saw Helen as an artist... untill I was on this show. I was talking to Chef Beau one day and I told him I was an artist... he said, "So am I". I looked at him and then it hit me. The plate was my canvas and the food was my paint, the knives were my brushes... OMG, this WAS art! The more and more I learned, the better I understood what i was learning. And the more and more I wished that I could hug my Aunt and tell her that I was sorry for ever doubting her creative eye!

Helen always wanted me to succeed, no matter how insane my idea... she would help me figure out how to go about obtaining what I wanted. Jan 2006, both my Uncle Bernie and Aunt Helen died in a car accident while driving to Las Vegas, NV. I was devastated at the time, but NOTHING could have prepared me for the longing I feel now. I wish I could tell her all the things that I have done and doing...

Helen was a cook. She traveled around Italy and learned how to make pasta. She started a business from her home, and sold it to local grocery stores. Soon the demand was so big that she was able to open a cafe type shop... and eventually she opened a factory! Helen became a self made millionaire by following her passion for pasta! She loved food, and became known for her confidence in the kitchen. Helen retired in the 90's because things got to big... she wanted to have her hand in the creation of her work from start to finish, and soon things just became too much and she sold her shop and closed the factory. She made her dream a reality, so she understood my passion... she was an artist too.

I cannot tell you how much I miss her, but when I cook... I feel here all around me. She's with me in the kitchen. I want be successful to honor her memory. Helen is a part of every meal. I can almost hear her telling me stop as I start getting out of control and too creative! haha... It might be all in my head, but even if it is... it's all I have left

 Aunt Helen and Uncle Bernie Hostettler

XOXO